When I was 16, I had a doctor put me on the antibiotic Minocycline to reduce acne that I'm not even actually sure was that bad. She had me on this medication for....*drumroll* 5 years. I experienced a traumatic heartbreak during that time, in which I experienced DP, and this experience essentially sealed the deal for my brain to stay paralyzed in a disassociated state.
After thinking I had died and been sent to hell, that the whole world was a simulation created to test me, nothing existed and I was reading a book, etc etc, I got on the internet and found a forum thread that mentioned a correlation between the devilish "medication" Minocycline and depersonalization. I immediately threw every last pill away and would have tried to file a lawsuit against this doctor if she were still practicing. After going through the rest of high school and all of college 100% depersonalized, getting by with taking too much Adderall and trying my hardest to pretend to be the normal extrovert I wasn't and trying to take all the B vitamins I could, I finally decided to see a therapist specialized in dissociative disorders earlier this year. This week marks the first time in TEN YEARS I have broken through to clarity. It's given me a gratitude and joy for life that nobody could ever understand without enduring what I believe is to be one of the most hellish states a human being could experience.
I thought Kombucca was the answer, but that was just the beginning of my love affair with probiotics. Just this week, though, I learned that it's pointless to take probiotics if you aren't also taking PREBIOTICS! Prebiotics are food to keep the probiotics alive; otherwise, they will die off and not process the vitamins to maintain good mental health. I'm currently taking "Olympian Labs Lean & Healthy Complete Prebiotic & Probiotic" (
https://www.heb.com/product-detail/olympian-labs-lean-amp-healthy-complete-prebiotic-amp-probiotic/1906666) and this seems to be my cure.
Depersonalization/derealization is the worst thing I could ever curse upon another person, but it's also such an incredible testament of the power our brains to protect us! But trust me, you will get through it. Find a therapist near you specialized in dissociative disorders. The more you talk about it, the more it reduces it to "a state you will overcome." I avoided the topic at all costs, and it became the biggest elephant in my reality. Talk about it with a professional! Cry about it, discuss the trauma of this traumatic state, sit down, focus on your breath, and get in touch with your body.
If anyone needs to discuss their situation or discuss this with someone, please reach out to me. I'm sorry I haven't posted my story anywhere earlier. I finally feel like I'm on the tailend of this hell.
