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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dp/dr with a mix of solipsism?

Writing to feel better, looking for confirmation, help, some tips/ideas.

So, I know that I definitely had dp/dr about two years ago. It was really bad, i felt totally disconnected from the world. But I got better and I even found some happiness. However, something was always wrong. But mostly small stuff, like I could watch something and be "something is off."

But it was okay, compared to the nightmare I had before. Things were much better. Getting better also meant that I understand that it wasn't something terrible wrong with me, it was like a confirmation that it was all anxiety. When I got better I could look at sky and be like "something is wrong, time to wake up dude. Let's go train and you will get better. Find a place in life and all will be well. You can do it. "

So, you could say that I was on my way to a full recover. Then all of sudden I started to question reality… Solipsm the deluxe. The worst fear was "when I die, everything dies, nothing of this is real, its just in my head, so when I die, everything dies. Everything and everyone around me is in my imagination."

This feels so much worse than before. Before I had some doubts about reality, like "what is this? what is going on?" but it was more of a "I am disconnected-feeling, I need to wake up." Now its like "I am awake, the world is in my imagination." Like I am not disconnected, because there is nothing to be disconnected from…

I would blame this on dp/dr, but the thing is I am not sure that I have dp/dr anymore. The strange vision is long gone, replaced by "something is off." So I don't know what this is?

Questions,

  • Does dp/dr go in waves, meaning I still have it? Can I go from full blown dp/dr to not-so-bad dp/dr?
  • Is there a relation between dp/dr and solipsism/existential thoughts?
  • Is this normal? Meaning that the process can go like this, from full blown dp/dr -> to smaller dp/dr -> to full blown existential crisis (no one is real).

Anyone who recognize this behaviour?
 

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Dp/dr with a mix of solipsism?

Writing to feel better, looking for confirmation, help, some tips/ideas.

So, I know that I definitely had dp/dr about two years ago. It was really bad, i felt totally disconnected from the world. But I got better and I even found some happiness. However, something was always wrong. But mostly small stuff, like I could watch something and be "something is off."

But it was okay, compared to the nightmare I had before. Things were much better. Getting better also meant that I understand that it wasn't something terrible wrong with me, it was like a confirmation that it was all anxiety. When I got better I could look at sky and be like "something is wrong, time to wake up dude. Let's go train and you will get better. Find a place in life and all will be well. You can do it. "

So, you could say that I was on my way to a full recover. Then all of sudden I started to question reality… Solipsm the deluxe. The worst fear was "when I die, everything dies, nothing of this is real, its just in my head, so when I die, everything dies. Everything and everyone around me is in my imagination."

This feels so much worse than before. Before I had some doubts about reality, like "what is this? what is going on?" but it was more of a "I am disconnected-feeling, I need to wake up." Now its like "I am awake, the world is in my imagination." Like I am not disconnected, because there is nothing to be disconnected from…

I would blame this on dp/dr, but the thing is I am not sure that I have dp/dr anymore. The strange vision is long gone, replaced by "something is off." So I don't know what this is?

Questions,

  • Does dp/dr go in waves, meaning I still have it? Can I go from full blown dp/dr to not-so-bad dp/dr?
  • Is there a relation between dp/dr and solipsism/existential thoughts?
  • Is this normal? Meaning that the process can go like this, from full blown dp/dr -> to smaller dp/dr -> to full blown existential crisis (no one is real).

Anyone who recognize this behaviour?
Yes to all three.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
It just feel so fucked up...

Like, I was good, kind of. Theeen baom.

Anyone else experienced this? Like, my dp/dr for the last year hasn't been that bad and most importantly, I did not connect my dp/dr to something serious like schizo... For the most part I been like "hm, something is off, well, well."

You think this is the reason behind my solipsy-thoughts?
 

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Questions,

  • Does dp/dr go in waves, meaning I still have it? Can I go from full blown dp/dr to not-so-bad dp/dr?
  • Is there a relation between dp/dr and solipsism/existential thoughts?
  • Is this normal? Meaning that the process can go like this, from full blown dp/dr -> to smaller dp/dr -> to full blown existential crisis (no one is real).

Anyone who recognize this behaviour?
For many, depersonalization and derealization come when they are under extreme stress. This doesn't need to be all the time, it can come in waves like that - each with their own severity too.

Depersonalization has a way of making things seem unreal. This dreamy aspect to unreality allows people to latch onto their imagination more than reality, which tends to force out existentialism. It's very easy for someone to get caught up in their own head instead of thinking about the world around them objectively, especially when they start to research philosophical topics like Solipsism. From my perspective, this is why existentialism is such a prominent topic on the board. While depression and anxiety can coax these responses out, depersonalization creates an immediate ladder to the existential train of thought.

To your last question: yes. This happened to me several times during my recovery - and I'm sure many others have felt the same way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the replies! Love <3

Deep down I feel that the thought "I'm the only one that exists and everyone is in my imagination" is absolut stupid. But still, it feels like a "revelation", like i finally figured it out.

But if I try to objective I would say that its kind of normal. The steps is like this:

- Disconnected from the world = this is not real, something is weird

-> leading to the conclusion "this is not real real, it's all in my head."

So you could say that my brain has solved the problem, which is why it felt like an revelation. I told my brain that something was weird for a long time, and finally my brain has solved the problem. Something was off, now I know why :cool: And I think that this would be my thought process if I had full-blown dp/dr, like strange visions, dizziness and stuff. But I don't have that anymore, compared to how I was, I have been feeling amazing for the last year... thoughts about that?

For everyone who is struggling:

Best argument i read was:

Think about all the times in the past when you were wrong, you thought you would have a brain tumor and you didn't. You thought that you had schizo, and you didn't. So why would you be right now? Your history shows that you are almost always wrong.

Best video -> this guy really talk about it in a good way. I feel love for this human.

 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
To your last question: yes. This happened to me several times during my recovery - and I'm sure many others have felt the same way.
After your recovery, did the solipsy-thoughts disappear in a way that you were like "it was a part of the disease" or were it more like something you figured out/stopped caring about? If you understand what I mean?

Like I had some health worries that I stopped thinking about, not in the way that I went to doctor and had a checkup or reasoned my way to a solution. But when i was "healthy" again I could look back to those worries and be like "omg, I was really sick." If you understand what I mean, that when i was healthy I didn't even have to think about it because it was so stupid...

?
 

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See my posts for the evolution of dp. Years ago my symptoms were just seeing the world as movie like, feeling disconnected from my body etc. I barely have this at all now, it's all thought based. To where I got to the point that you did, that I don't think it's dp at all now.

I am constantly trying to find proof that I'm in the real world, but am constantly finding evidence (in my mind) to the contrary. Something seems to have gone awol with the world around me, it feels like something much more than the mind. So yeah I think what you're saying is similar.
 

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After your recovery, did the solipsy-thoughts disappear in a way that you were like "it was a part of the disease" or were it more like something you figured out/stopped caring about? If you understand what I mean?

Like I had some health worries that I stopped thinking about, not in the way that I went to doctor and had a checkup or reasoned my way to a solution. But when i was "healthy" again I could look back to those worries and be like "omg, I was really sick." If you understand what I mean, that when i was healthy I didn't even have to think about it because it was so stupid...

?
It was a mix of both.

The biggest thing is changing your frame of mind. It's understanding that what you're running through your head is based on existential obsession instead of anything tangible. For instance, I was stuck on the idea that the entire world was created with my own mind. This went on for about a year where I would constantly try to disprove it over and over again. The issue with that is that philosophical questions like that have no answer, which means you get trapped in constant thought.

The way to fix it is to change the entire paradigm in your head. You should try not asking the questions instead. This is done through cognitive behavioral therapy. The way that it worked for me was that: every time I had an existential thought, I'd stop myself before thinking any further. I would say, "This is an existential thought. It is pointless and I shouldn't think about it," to myself audibly. Then I would try to force my attention elsewhere, whether it was video games or another constructive hobby.

Your brain has a funny way of subconsciously realizing the thought is silly. The more you dissuade yourself from thinking, the less active your brain is at imagining it.
 
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