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Hi all,

Bit of a ramble

So I got dp two months ago-I think I was slowly detaching and then I went to bed and woke up completely disassociated-feeling fake-with thoughts that my whole life was fake-needless to say surreal and scary. This also happened at least once before-waking up to it-but it went away after a few minutes. Now I've been in it 24/7. I was properly diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

I finally registered because I'm looking for some advice:

right before this happened I was planning on moving to a city I love to pursue music and really dive into the life I've wanted-in the place I've wanted for so long.

I did end up moving and did okay-but was often resentful being in a place I wanted to be in so badly-seeing others doing things I feel like I couldn't do-all the creative opportunities. Of course I tried anyway-talked to girls, got a full time job...tried to live a normal life. Trouble is I was also trying to eat healthy, exercise, and go to bed at a decent hour every night. My question is, if acceptance and living your life anyway-not forcing recovery is the way to go -isn't completely altering my routine just signaling that the dp is a threat and that I can no longer live the life I want until this is gone? Healthy eating and exercise is a fine addition- but in the city life id just get angry if I felt like I had to live like a monk and turn in early and not play music out.

So I moved back with my folks and am now applying for jobs here. Although it's been a tough last few days-for the majority of my time here I've felt better-still unreal-but I could finally watch and enjoy and get excited about a television shows-music whatever. I laughed at jokes. I felt good having a controlled environment. I felt and feel like an loser (pooooooor me) living with my folks and temporarily giving up on the life I wanted. Still I am taking baby steps here-I still have a room in the city on offer but I think I need to stay.

But I still don't know:

Stay or go back

Thanks!
 
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