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It's definitely something that you need to forget you have. It isn't that easy though. What I recommend you doing is do exactly what you want to do. I know that sounds really cliché, but it's just the summary. Do what you want to do until you can't. If you watch the walking dead, and the sight of blood gets to you (if that's unusual for a change) turn to a different program or do something else. If you still believe that living in that city, and doing whatever you wanted to do there is still a goal, go for the goal. Rethink every step you do though, every time you hold a knife, you take a piss, look in the mirror, everything. Just think about what the room looks like, and focus on things. Acknowledge that they are there, even if you think they aren't. Accept what you have, work with it, nothing against it, and eventually you'll forget it's even there, and the "dreaming" will stop, one way or another. Everything you ever wanted to do is still possible, you just need to look at from a different perspective. And please, just take your time.

Jager
 
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