[Okee1]

Hi all,

Bit of a ramble

So I got dp two months ago-I think I was slowly detaching and then I went to bed and woke up completely disassociated-feeling fake-with thoughts that my whole life was fake-needless to say surreal and scary. This also happened at least once before-waking up to it-but it went away after a few minutes. Now I've been in it 24/7. I was properly diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

I finally registered because I'm looking for some advice:

right before this happened I was planning on moving to a city I love to pursue music and really dive into the life I've wanted-in the place I've wanted for so long.

I did end up moving and did okay-but was often resentful being in a place I wanted to be in so badly-seeing others doing things I feel like I couldn't do-all the creative opportunities. Of course I tried anyway-talked to girls, got a full time job...tried to live a normal life. Trouble is I was also trying to eat healthy, exercise, and go to bed at a decent hour every night. My question is, if acceptance and living your life anyway-not forcing recovery is the way to go -isn't completely altering my routine just signaling that the dp is a threat and that I can no longer live the life I want until this is gone? Healthy eating and exercise is a fine addition- but in the city life id just get angry if I felt like I had to live like a monk and turn in early and not play music out.

So I moved back with my folks and am now applying for jobs here. Although it's been a tough last few days-for the majority of my time here I've felt better-still unreal-but I could finally watch and enjoy and get excited about a television shows-music whatever. I laughed at jokes. I felt good having a controlled environment. I felt and feel like an loser (pooooooor me) living with my folks and temporarily giving up on the life I wanted. Still I am taking baby steps here-I still have a room in the city on offer but I think I need to stay.

But I still don't know:

Stay or go back

Thanks!

 

[Jager]

It's definitely something that you need to forget you have. It isn't that easy though. What I recommend you doing is do exactly what you want to do. I know that sounds really cliché, but it's just the summary. Do what you want to do until you can't. If you watch the walking dead, and the sight of blood gets to you (if that's unusual for a change) turn to a different program or do something else. If you still believe that living in that city, and doing whatever you wanted to do there is still a goal, go for the goal. Rethink every step you do though, every time you hold a knife, you take a piss, look in the mirror, everything. Just think about what the room looks like, and focus on things. Acknowledge that they are there, even if you think they aren't. Accept what you have, work with it, nothing against it, and eventually you'll forget it's even there, and the "dreaming" will stop, one way or another. Everything you ever wanted to do is still possible, you just need to look at from a different perspective. And please, just take your time.

Jager

 

[ritalinislife]

I legit found a cure for depersonalisation, (at least it's curing me), ritalin+naltrexone everyday, it's like a magic pill, I know it's difficult to believe because I'm just a guy on a forum but I hope you read this message and it will give you some hope.
Tips to see if it might work for you: alcohol makes me feel worse in a way that my body feels weirder and more detached, marijuana makes me feel like I don't have a body (I feel terrible)and I lose my sense of self even more, cigarettes improve my derealisation but worsens the perception of my body, amphetamines make my derealisation go away.
If you respond the same to these drugs ritalin and naltrexone will probably work for you.

 

[TechMan]

Musician to musician. I've been playing guitar before a few thousand people. The room is dark except for the glow of my pedals. The song count comes about and it's me that does the intro. Normally DP would've freaked me out but practice, practice, practice and experience has worked for me. After so many DP interactions during performing, I've gotten used to it. It can be done. Someone with DP should definitely take more precautions to be fully prepared and utilize a lot of muscle memory.