[Fashioneta100]

I'm 17 years old and thought joining an online community with others who share the same disorder would be beneficial to myself, and would be great if I could help others as well. Last year before April, I had smoked weed out of a gravity bong (a water bottle) with a couple of friends (I had smoked weed all the time previously); instantly I had a panic attack, and had an awful trip that lasted about 3 hours, and still convinced the weed was laced ever since the incident. The high was the worst feeling of my life, It felt like I was in a dream I could not wake up from, and my words and everything around me didn't feel real. I had felt like I was never gonna feel normal ever again. Furthermore, my friends tried to guide me through the panic attack and had layed me down to try and sleep so I could wake up and maybe the high would be gone. Luckily the high worn off and I was becoming in touch with reality again. A day goes by, and the next morning I wake up feeling strange and I had to go into school that morning as well. I remember I was in french class first period, I felt a little off like I was still some what high again. Thoughts that I never had though before were racing in my head and everything seemed so strange to me: words, life, and people. My whole perspective on life felt so different and I started to feel like I was on auto pilot as I would wake up every morning. I began explaining the feeling to my friends, family, and doctor, as I was looking through my life behind a glass and my mind was detached from my body. I began feeling like I was going crazy and that I was the only person feeling this way and that no one could ever understand the way that I would ever feel. I constantly had panic attacks in the hallways at school and would feel like in like a such dream state, that I would rush myself to sit in the nurses office. The nurse always took my blood pressure and always checked to make sure everything was fine, and so it was. She began thinking that I was overreacting just to not go to class. I then seen a physiologist who had told me that what Ive been feeling was Derealization and Depersonalization disorder. I cried everyday, and would ask the same question, "when was I ever gonna feel the same again?". Everyones answer was that you just need to stop thinking about it, and it takes time. Everyday I struggled and tried finding new ways that would help me cope with the feeling, and try to take my mind off of it. Its been a year and a half, and I am still dealing with the disorder. The feeling had made me drop out off high school junior year, and had to attend a night program luckily that was offered, in which I had received my diploma at 16. I can say that where I am at today Is way more stable mentally, then what I was feeling last year when I had just been diagnosed and was not familiar with the disorder. What helps me today cope with the feeling is understanding that Dp/Dr can not hurt me, it's temporary, traumatic experiences such so takes time to heal, keep praying and have faith. Every day and night I pray that I am so grateful for everything I have and everything thats in my life, and to feel better again. No one can make you heal other than yourself, medicine the doctors give you is temporary and will never resolve the problem, it will only for the moment. I always tell myself that coping with the disorder and learning how to deal with it is way better than taking meds because at one point your gonna need to stop taking themes and you will just never get better. Mental health is everything and the mind is so powerful, you have to teach yourself that you will get better on your own and to just keep inner peace. You are you and I know thats when DP comes involved, cause you feel not yourself, but its your mind playing tricks on you and trying to protect yourself. Take this from a girl that just turned 17 this August, you will get better, I've gotten better since last year for sure. It's your mind, always try to keep busy and never think about the disorder. At times when you do feel not in your body and really weird, go through the sensation so your body can sense that it's normal and it can not hurt you. When you panic it a step back from recovering because your letting yourself be scared of feeling that way, when you are gonna feel that way because of the disorder. I've read and watched so many videos and forums, and people give great advice, but it's only YOU that can get better, and having friends and family guide you through the process is the best thing to, never feel that you are alone. I still today am feeling dp/dr but I know it can't stop me from my daily life, its harmless even though it feels like your going insane you are OKAY. I'm in the process of getting better and pray and keep faith that I will feel normal one day again. I Love all of you and just know god is watching over you and that you aren't alone, and you will return the same once again, you just have to work for it and that takes time and peace. Keep faith.

 

[Steff]

Thank you for posting this! It's always good to hear other people's stories & how they are coping. God bless you!

 

[nocturnalman]

Hi ,
Experiencing DR is the result of trauma that overwhelmed you ,which means you reached the threshold of anxiety.
I see no difference in physical trauma to the brain and emotional trauma ,both affect the activity of your brain.
Never forget that the brain is able to repair itself from trauma (plasticity).
Do thinka that keep you enjoy to keep yourself busy ,get enough sleep and nutritiens and by time you will feel normal again

 

[Steff]

When you say trauma, does it mean trauma that happened right before dp hit or can it be trauma from childhood that is now surfacing as dissociation ? My trauma is from childhood, so I don't understand why my dp decided to appear years after it

 

[willbarwa]

When you say trauma, does it mean trauma that happened right before dp hit or can it be trauma from childhood that is now surfacing as dissociation ? My trauma is from childhood, so I don't understand why my dp decided to appear years after it

Oh but that's the kicker. If life were so simple as to show its tell-tale signs right off the bat then we could easily put two and two together.

Childhood trauma symptoms often resurface years later. The mind is an incredible machine but a gullible one too. You see, when something is too traumatic, the brain essentially shuts off those emotions and memories to protect itself from over-stimulation. Years pass by, unknowingly to you anxiety and all the sub-conscious dilemmas build up. Those nervous laughter you've always had or perhaps the anxiety you had for a specific place, environment tor thing, all have their roots in our childhood, pleasant and non-pleasant.

 

[Steff]

Oh but that's the kicker. If life were so simple as to show its tell-tale signs right off the bat then we could easily put two and two together.
Childhood trauma symptoms often resurface years later. The mind is an incredible machine but a gullible one too. You see, when something is too traumatic, the brain essentially shuts off those emotions and memories to protect itself from over-stimulation. Years pass by, unknowingly to you anxiety and all the sub-conscious dilemmas build up. Those nervous laughter you've always had or perhaps the anxiety you had for a specific place, environment tor thing, all have their roots in our childhood, pleasant and non-pleasant.

That makes a lot of sense actually. I think if I treat the trauma and anxiety there's a chance this may go away. It's just strange because I always felt like I had in some way moved on from those things that happened in my childhood, but I guess my brain never really healed from it.