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DP/DR from Meditation?

6296 Views 11 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Charger
Anyone get DP/DR from meditation?

I got mine from a Vippashina mediation retreat. I did the retreat in the hope that it would help with my insomnia and anxiety due to financial problems. Here are some words I wrote after the retreat. This I wrote before I knew about DP/DR:

Within this words I will try to describe my feelings and perceptions after I returned from a retreat where I only completed three out of the ten days. I left late afternoon on the third day due to intense feelings of fear, anxiety and a perception of non reality. These feelings started late in the evening on the first day a varied in intensity during the next couple of days. On the third day I couldn?t take it any longer and left the retreat.

After returning home I noticed that the feelings still persisted although they did vary in intensity from just being perceivable to a point where my whole body felt like it would implode. The feelings I?m referring to are of fear, anxiety, panic, confusion, loneliness, weirdness, strangeness, unreality, detachment, depression and also a strong sense of not feeling like my usual self. I also discovered that I could trigger these feelings and change the intensity of the feelings by slightly shifting my awareness or focus on either my body, thoughts or surroundings. This shift in awareness would dramatically change the perception of my reality. The feelings I most dislike are feelings of intense and uncontrollable fear, anxiety and unrealism which makes me feel very distant and not like my familiar self. When I refer to my body and thoughts I?m referring to normal everyday functions that we perform thousands of times a day like walking, talking, thinking, observing etc.; but this slight shift in awareness has a profound effect on my whole perception of these familiar phenomenons.

Anyone with a similar experience?
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The meditation was the catalyst for the DP this time but scanning my memory I have had these feelings in the past when I was younger. Probably the first time was when I was eight but never this bad.

Vipassana is a quite an intense bout of mediation. No talking for 10 days. Get up at 4am and pretty much meditate for most of the day until 9pm. In my fragile state I should not have done it, but then anything around that time may have triggered it. I don't meditate anymore and I don't think I ever will again as it just might bring on the DP (also note that I'm not a follower of any eastern religions or philosophies, I did the retreat for other reasons). Actually during the retreat I remember deeply meditating when I got this horrible fear that came from no where and I think from that point on was when I couldn't function anymore. I left the next day. I also believe that the lack of sleep during the retreat and my insomnia played a huge part in bringing on the DP and I'm also convinced that sleep state has something to do with the symptoms I'm feeling.

Sojourner I'm an ex-Catholic and I use to pray when I was younger. I really don't see the point to it because nothing ever came from it. I'm jealous of those that have a strong faith as it gives them confidence and security but I'm to much of a sceptic to believe in prayer. I'm more of an agnostic these days and I really don't believe anyone knows what happens after death. I'm pretty sure it will be silent nothingness, but no one really knows. I still attend church as I enjoy the community spirit and listening to the 'word' albeit after it goes through my sceptic filter. Things like morality and ethics I tend to listen to. As for the body and blood, well if it works for you, great, for me it's still only bread and water. Please enjoy your faith if you have one during the times when this disorder seems unbearable as for me I'll keep trying to distract myself.
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