DP/DR from Meditation?

6298 Views 11 Replies 6 Participants Last post by Charger, Jun 20, 2005

Milan

Discussion Starter · Jun 16, 2005

Anyone get DP/DR from meditation?

I got mine from a Vippashina mediation retreat. I did the retreat in the hope that it would help with my insomnia and anxiety due to financial problems. Here are some words I wrote after the retreat. This I wrote before I knew about DP/DR:

Within this words I will try to describe my feelings and perceptions after I returned from a retreat where I only completed three out of the ten days. I left late afternoon on the third day due to intense feelings of fear, anxiety and a perception of non reality. These feelings started late in the evening on the first day a varied in intensity during the next couple of days. On the third day I couldn?t take it any longer and left the retreat.

After returning home I noticed that the feelings still persisted although they did vary in intensity from just being perceivable to a point where my whole body felt like it would implode. The feelings I?m referring to are of fear, anxiety, panic, confusion, loneliness, weirdness, strangeness, unreality, detachment, depression and also a strong sense of not feeling like my usual self. I also discovered that I could trigger these feelings and change the intensity of the feelings by slightly shifting my awareness or focus on either my body, thoughts or surroundings. This shift in awareness would dramatically change the perception of my reality. The feelings I most dislike are feelings of intense and uncontrollable fear, anxiety and unrealism which makes me feel very distant and not like my familiar self. When I refer to my body and thoughts I?m referring to normal everyday functions that we perform thousands of times a day like walking, talking, thinking, observing etc.; but this slight shift in awareness has a profound effect on my whole perception of these familiar phenomenons.

Anyone with a similar experience?

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Sojourner

· #8 · Jun 18, 2005

Milan,

It sounds like what the abstract of the study suggests -- you perhaps were afraid of the experience for some reason. And you must still be afraid of something if you're still depersonalized, the purpose of it very likely to keep you from discovering what's really bothering you.

Had you any prior experience with meditation, or prayer, which has a few common features with meditation?

The feelings you describe are exactly what my panic attacks were like. Had to take an ativan yesterday, as a matter of fact.

There is nothing scarier that I have ever experienced in my entire life, with the exception perhaps of meeting the Lord and having to give an account of my life (as if He doesn't know it already). LOL.

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Sojourner

· #9 · Jun 18, 2005

That should have read:

" ... with the exception of the prospect of meeting the Lord..." That scares me a little bit more, but not much.

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