I don't want to cause misconception and hostility, but I need to know if other have this same thing with me.
I remember that when I first noticed it (around 2000, 2001) it was while returnng home, after a night-walk. I noticed that I wasn't feeling "here", like some part of my mind was really really tired. I didn't mind. In fact it was a pleasant state. Like a break from the things that bugged me.
I don't know what does this mean for me. Did anyone had this?
I can understand how a pleasant dreamlike state could be an enjoyable experience - I think maybe DP is unpleasant as we know it is trying to defend us from something.
Right now it is, but back then it wasnt. It was happening periodically. After a while I started to wonder what could it be. In a gradient way, it bacame 24/7. And right now, my mind toggles between the state of "I am not sure of anything in my memory" and "I remember good the facts back then"
I am sorry if I came across in a negative way. I hope that you are doing well, and anybody that makes peace with this disorder should be held in high regard.
I sometimes experience the same as you've described, Brainsilence. I find it usually happens when I haven't slept for thirty hours or more. I think it seems pleasant because I know it's come on naturally, and I recognise it from the years before I suffered from Dp/Dr. It's also nice and calming to know I'm absolutely shattered and am about to enjoy a good, long, peaceful sleep.
Many years ago, before I realised I had Dp/Dr, I learnt how to have controlled OOBEs, which is also pleasant, to say the least. Even though the experience is different to Dp/Dr, it can be quite scary if it's an uncontrolled one. Sometimes they happen when I'm exhausted and trying to get off to sleep, or if I've had a drink, etc..
Also, sometimes I feel totally relaxed, happy and peaceful, when I least expect it or need it. It's exactly the same as I would feel after taking a large dose of Diazepam. Obviously, it's a chemical my brain has released, but I AM curious to know what that chemical's called, should anyone reading this know...?
It's just scary sometimes to me. A few of my friends are like "Damn dude, I wish I felt like I was in a mild trip all the time..." and I'm like no it gets old quick...
Yeah, no shit. But like they say, good things come out from bad things. I no longer smoke marijuana, drink alcohol, use any other drugs (which cover many) smoke cigarettes, or even drink caffeine. This is surely an invitation to good health. After DP/DR, I'll be free.
mah therapist said dp is like the brains way of escaping ur troubles, its trying to run away from anything stressful, when i used to have dp sometimes i used to laugh when i had my episodes and just enjoy the "trippiness"
Da'Burgh - I know what you mean...I have given up on many of those things myself. I never smoked weed, but have given up on my true love of coffee (caffeine). I miss being able to drink it, but the caffeine rush is too scary for me.
I also would never judge anyone who smokes pot.
Although I don't know any of you, you are all my friends.
Thanks a lot, mcsiegs. Smoking herb was like the first thing I knew I had to quit because It would always lead to a panic attack. I mean, give someone who thinks too much something that makes them think deeper and you have utter fear. Some might disagree with me on this but when I got high it was too much for my anxious brain.
Second, I put caffeine and highly sugared products in the same boat. I love sugars, especially pop. Caffeine just made this experience 10x worse. I eventually had to quit smoking cigs too because they were also a stimulant and made things worse. These things are only setbacks. I would do anything to get rid of this crap.
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