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Hey guys! So this is my first time posting, and I want to help others as well as help myself. So let me give a back story!

So, 4 years ago in February 2014, a senior in highschool, I had my first real panic attack in the shower (from trauma of rape and bullying). I was freaking out completely, thought I was dying and couldn't be alone for days. Eventually the panic attacks turned into DP/DR because i was mentally exhausted from untreated anxiety. I would leave every single class to go to the counselors office because I felt as if myself and everyone around me was unreal. It was god awful. I let this go for 3 MONTHS. I remember walking into school and going straight to the counselors office after homeroom in May and told them that I just couldn't take it anymore so they called crisis and drove me to the ER. I then admitted myself into a behavioral hospital for 2 weeks and went on 10 mg of lexapro and abilify, also got put on klonopin for a faster relief. when I left two weeks later, I felt brand new. I felt happiness and was excited to go back to school. I graduated highschool a month later and then went to college and got my degree. I switched mood stabilizers a few times until I started lamyctal which became the perfect combo with lexapro. (Also tried geodon prior to that and it turned me into a narcoleptic). Then I got pregnant with my daughter and went cold turkey on the meds. Had her in 2016 and then went on prozac for postpartum depression/anxiety for a year. It worked perfectly until i started feeling like a robot so I came off of it and felt great again. Fast forward to January 2018 and my panic attacks came back full force. Then i started the lexapro and lamotrogine (lamyctal) again and after the hellish 2 week adjustment period I felt so much better. Just last week i got a diagnosis of fibromyalgia and got denied acceptance into a program I wanted to get into and a few days later my DP/DR came back. I am experiencing it differently than I did in 2014 (from being a mother and maturing, I'm sure) so I feel helpless even though I know i shouldn't. I'm contemplating on going back on klonopin because it helped so much back then, but it was a b**** to wean off of. What do you guys think? I'm more distressed this time around because I never ever thought this would come back and also because I'm a stay at home mom and have my toddler to look after no matter how I'm feeling. I just want to know how this happened! Do you think it could be the meds I'm currently on? Idk, someone talk to me lol! Thanks in advance :)
 
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