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Hi. I'm so so sorry if this post triggers anybody, I'm just so desperate for relief that posting on here feels like my only hope. I first started feeling depersonalized/derealized last month but it only lasted about a week. Now it's returned and it's much more intense, and I fear that this is irreversible. Actually, scratch that, I fear that this is something more than just DP/DR. Alright, for some background, I tried to OD last April and it backfired and I was fine for a few months, but last Wednesday I got this intrusive thought like "what if you actually died last April and everything and everyone around you is just part of your afterlife?" Or something like that. Well that thought hasn't left me since, and it's getting worse everyday. Every time I see my family or text one of my friends I feel like I wanna cry because of that awful "what if" thought that's haunting me. And the most insane part about it is, I've been dwelling on it so much to the point where I feel like I almost believe it. I mean, I have to be crazy right? No offense to anybody with these thoughts as well, but what normal person thinks that everyone is a figment of their imagination? Once again, no offense. I'm just so so ready to feel normal again. Anyways, I looked up these type of thoughts a few days ago and it turns out there's an actual term for it called "Solipsism" (which I don't recommend looking up, I feel like looking that up just added fuel to the fire) and now my mind is making me think that everyone in my life I created in my head and it's driving me crazy, and I fear that I may mean that literally. Please someone tell me they've been through something similar, or give me some advice on how to overcome this as quickly as possible. Because I definitely don't wanna spend the rest of my life questioning whether or not everyone I know and meet actually exists. And what makes this worse is that I'm only 15, I have a long life ahead and I have literally no idea how to handle this or what I did to go through this. Please help me. I know this sounds depressing but I feel so hopeless I'm genuinely considering suicide.
 

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You will over come it when you relax with it. Please stay off google as you're adding fuel to the fire. Dp is NOT designed to harm you... By googling stuff and scaring yourself you're making it 10 x worst. Don't fight the thoughts let them be there.... They can't hurt you its because you're fighting them it's kicking your ass. You're totally 100 percent safe xxx
 
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