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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hi,

i haven't posted on here for quite some time (for me anyway, who considers himself a "regular" here). This is, of course, not to say that i've been feeling better. Au contraire. I feel absolutely weighted down by anxiety and dped thoughts right now and have fairly consistently for the past few months...in what i assume to be a gradually worsening condition. I do recognize the futility of posting my complaints on here, which is possibly why i haven't done so in awhile. I guess i just get tired of seeing the same topics being posted by the same people, and i just hate the idea of sounding like a redundant whiner (not to say that any of you are such...i don't blame you for posting at all...it's a great outlet and sometimes the venting can be quite a relief, which is what i'm hoping this will be...the connecting vicariously to other people...it can help, i guess. So i stand corrected.)

I guess i just don't know what to do anymore. I've spiralled into such a deep state of anxiety that quite literally nothing doesn't make me anxious. "Anxious" is a euphemism here, by the way. My feelings are far more powerful and nefarious than a word like "Anxious" could ever convey. But...i'm using it for convenience.

I mean, all the little holes of hope i used to have for myself in bygone days when this disorder struck, have been welded shut, it seems. I used to think if only i were rich, i could placate the anxiety...now i worry that even if i were rich, the money would just get stolen...or if i found the right girl, and fell deeply and madly in love...now i just worry that the girl would inevitably leave me...or i think that somehow miraculously, everything could turn out right and i could leave the anxiety and dp behind me, but now i just worry that even if that did happen...i could just wake up one day, and realize that all the good things were just dreams.

It's horrible. Utterly and hatefully horrible. I find no peace in anything and no hope anywhere. If a pen goes missing, i wonder obsessively about where it went, until i find it. Anything remotely deja vu-esque leaves my mind reeling for hours. I feel so trapped...so painted into a corner...life really is a miserable joke.

anyway, i don't know what the hell to do.

thanks for listening...

s.
 

·
Former Moderator
Joined
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1,273 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
hi,

i haven't posted on here for quite some time (for me anyway, who considers himself a "regular" here). This is, of course, not to say that i've been feeling better. Au contraire. I feel absolutely weighted down by anxiety and dped thoughts right now and have fairly consistently for the past few months...in what i assume to be a gradually worsening condition. I do recognize the futility of posting my complaints on here, which is possibly why i haven't done so in awhile. I guess i just get tired of seeing the same topics being posted by the same people, and i just hate the idea of sounding like a redundant whiner (not to say that any of you are such...i don't blame you for posting at all...it's a great outlet and sometimes the venting can be quite a relief, which is what i'm hoping this will be...the connecting vicariously to other people...it can help, i guess. So i stand corrected.)

I guess i just don't know what to do anymore. I've spiralled into such a deep state of anxiety that quite literally nothing doesn't make me anxious. "Anxious" is a euphemism here, by the way. My feelings are far more powerful and nefarious than a word like "Anxious" could ever convey. But...i'm using it for convenience.

I mean, all the little holes of hope i used to have for myself in bygone days when this disorder struck, have been welded shut, it seems. I used to think if only i were rich, i could placate the anxiety...now i worry that even if i were rich, the money would just get stolen...or if i found the right girl, and fell deeply and madly in love...now i just worry that the girl would inevitably leave me...or i think that somehow miraculously, everything could turn out right and i could leave the anxiety and dp behind me, but now i just worry that even if that did happen...i could just wake up one day, and realize that all the good things were just dreams.

It's horrible. Utterly and hatefully horrible. I find no peace in anything and no hope anywhere. If a pen goes missing, i wonder obsessively about where it went, until i find it. Anything remotely deja vu-esque leaves my mind reeling for hours. I feel so trapped...so painted into a corner...life really is a miserable joke.

anyway, i don't know what the hell to do.

thanks for listening...

s.
 

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413 Posts
thank you for sharing your situation...

i wish there was something i could say or do to help...

are you on meds?

seeing a therapist?

there is hope for everyone...

you may not see it or feel it...

but there is hope for everyone...

most of us are still searching for the thing that will snap us out of this...

but it can be done.
 

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Registered
Joined
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413 Posts
thank you for sharing your situation...

i wish there was something i could say or do to help...

are you on meds?

seeing a therapist?

there is hope for everyone...

you may not see it or feel it...

but there is hope for everyone...

most of us are still searching for the thing that will snap us out of this...

but it can be done.
 

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Former Moderator
Joined
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1,273 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
thanks for replying shadowness,

in reply to your question, i have experimented with ssris, to little or no avail, although i am thinking of trying zoloft again.

s.
 

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Former Moderator
Joined
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1,273 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
thanks for replying shadowness,

in reply to your question, i have experimented with ssris, to little or no avail, although i am thinking of trying zoloft again.

s.
 

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1,722 Posts
hi Sebastian,

not to say it's good to see you around...but it is. i also wanted to say i like the word nefarious...decidedly wicked. my girlfriends and i used to use it when we thought we were being "bad". all that rhetoric was to get your mind on to something else for 5 seconds.

sorry you are in the throes of this crap. do you wear glasses? i do to read and even though i have a million pair scattered all over the place, i can never find a pair and like you, i go quite crazy as i can't see to read the label that says child resistant!

truely do hope you have some kind of break. it sounds like trying a med again might be worth a shot.

good luck,
terri
 

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Registered
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hi Sebastian,

not to say it's good to see you around...but it is. i also wanted to say i like the word nefarious...decidedly wicked. my girlfriends and i used to use it when we thought we were being "bad". all that rhetoric was to get your mind on to something else for 5 seconds.

sorry you are in the throes of this crap. do you wear glasses? i do to read and even though i have a million pair scattered all over the place, i can never find a pair and like you, i go quite crazy as i can't see to read the label that says child resistant!

truely do hope you have some kind of break. it sounds like trying a med again might be worth a shot.

good luck,
terri
 
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