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I thought too deep about life and why we are here and all that stuff, and I entered a brief period of extreme Depersonalization. Then I would distract myself, and it would go away.

But then I would remember how weird I felt during the Depersonalization.. And it lead to really bad anxiety. This anxiety brought on more deep thoughts, and more Depersonalization.

This constant cycle brought on a constant dull "weird" feeling, and now when the feeling goes away, I just CANNOT bring myself back to normal life, so that causes me more extreme anxiety. I don't know how to live without these thoughts, even though they are literally killing me. I hate the anxiety, but I just can't seem to live without the weird feeling and thoughts that life is fake or whatever. It all stems from the Depersonalization.

It's like I was living normal life, then I had Depersonalization from deep thinking and I was living in a dream, and now I can't go back to "normal" life because I know that the Dream life exists. Anyone else?
 

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i get what u mean. but maybe u havent fully recovered. so ur hovering between the too. When i was better before i rememberd the dp but it didnt bother me at all. Cos u can definately tell the difference.

One thing i did recently learn tho is that there is a part of me holding onto the dp and existensial thoughts . as frightening as they are they are a defense mechanism and we are used to this. Letting go of them would mean having to deal with real lifes issues which are probably scarier to me than i realise. Something to think about. are u holding onto the dp slightly. subconciously maybe.
 

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Well, "we're here" to live, not to ruminate on life, which is just the rational mind running wild on you.

Being, not thinking. Many people who get DP conflate the two. They identify with their mind and it becomes a disproportionately large part of their life.

But the mind is just a tool. If you're not using it for something useful, you're likely abusing yourself.
 
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