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DP as escapism

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Although my DP has been waning I still experience it with anxiety or in new situations that make me uncomfortable. I was thinking about what puts me into these states and believe it has alot to do with my specific way of thinking and background. Is it possible to get DP or experience episodes of it because of low self esteem? My thinking is basically this "I hate myself, I'll never accomplish anything" then i may experience DP. I think it may be a psychological expression of secretly wanting to not be me. Because I don't want to live as myself experiencing reality now, I disassociate. This would be like a way of eliminating a self that I'm not satisifed with or believe is unable to cope with the world. Does this make any sense?
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Kerio said:
It makes perfect sense, but I'd say it's less of 'not wanting to be me', but more of 'not wanting to BE HERE'. I think it's a lot like shrinking into yourself because you're terrified of getting hurt. That's not 'low self-esteem', because if you have DP, you have NO ESTEEM (LOL!!!). We question why we are ridiculed, we find no answer, we get frightened or angry. Very animal, heh.

And about 'I hate myself, I'll never accomplish anything', I think it's more a feeling of us knowing we CAN get things done....but fears from the past resurface, leeching and connecting to what we assume need to be done, and we get DPed.

Essentially, DP is a way of softening reality, which means it's not that we don't want to be us, our consciousness just took so much pain it retreated into a shell inside of us.
i gotta agree with all of this. i cant deal with the world. i feel like an alien. everything that people consider normal i consider to be foreign and i just cant get used to it. like i have hooves and everyone else has hands. so i dissociate to comfort myself. i also have ADD.. and i do think that ADD is almost the same as dissociation cause my mind wont allow me to concentrate on whats in front of me cause its just too complex for my hooves. filling out an application, paying bills, shopping for groceries, doing the laundry, cleaning the house. its like trying to eat birdseed with no beak. so my brain just shuts itself off and goes 'uh uh.. im not doing this. im going to stare at the walls and drift into a world of fantasy.' its so soothing that my brain doenst want to come back to the real world.
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