Have you noticed that when you are depersonalized/derealized you are hyper aware of your mistakes as opposed to when you feel normal? For example, some days when I feel normal again I am focused on things I shouldn't waste my time on like ocd, germophobia and such bad habits, I go with the flow and do not bother so much about the way I behave with the people in my life. I act like I don't know how I felt and how desperate I was. But, when there is this panic due to dpdr, I reconsider my behavior, feel guilty about the way I thought, behaved, talked etc..
DP as a reminder
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One of the former Admins of this forum, Selig, used to say that these experiences, DP/DR and Normal Reality, are effectively "State Specific". What that means is that when in one or the other, not only do we think and focus differently... we cannot really envision what either one feels like. This is similar to why for the vast majority, people with DP cannot convey what this state is accurately like to people without it. Not only that, but it's been said by pretty much everybody who has recovered, that they can no longer recall what DP/DR feels like. Just as most of us within DP/DR cannot fathom what Normal Reality feels like.
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