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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
...do not mix well. And actually what's happening is the sadness is converting itself into enhanced DP/anxiety.
For those of you who do not know, over a several year period my heart has been ripped from my chest, tossed to the floor, and trampled on. Repeatedly. To make matters worse, the source of my heartbreak just won't get out of the picture.
The resulting sadness, guilt, frustration, confusion, etc. all seem to be gathering together into one big ball of depersonalization.

I didn't think I could get any worse. I was wrong. I am setting a new personal record for messed-up-edness. Can't think straight, can't sleep, and the only emotion I feel is fear. Lots and lots of fear. Knowing this may finally, be the final straw. la-la land here I come.

Anyway, just checking in. A couple of you have pm'ed asking why I've been so quiet lately.
Hope everyone is doing well.
 

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Hang in there SC. You'll get through this. If something/someone is causing such heartbreak, why not eliminate it from your life? I mean, you need to look out for yourself first right? Maybe sit back and evaluate the situation. See what you, yourself can change and go from there. Doing things for the betterment of your self is always the best thing to do, specially with DPed people like ourselves! Hang in there man. Take care.

Kelson
 

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Dear Sc,
I dont really believe that DP can lead to la-la-land. I think it just keeps getting weirder and weirder, and the hole gets deeper and deeper, but no matter how far you get into the hole, you can still see the little round hole of reality at the top . I DO think it can lead to a nervous breakdown, though, and I think you might be headed there. Remember the post by John yesterday about the things he wished he had done in life? Maybe you should do those things....whatever they are for you. Especially if they regard the person your pining over. I really wish you would see someone at the Amen clinic eventually, or at least take a medicine from your nurse practioner. I really, really, hope you get better someday soon....I'll say a prayer for you, and here's wishing you

Peace
Homeskooled
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Every day, i think im going crazy. Its been like that for years... kinda anti-climactic really. Its annoying because i dont get the relief of being crazy.. but still have the burden of thinking I might be headed that way. Its been that way ever since i can remember knowing what "crazy" was. Perhaps this will provide insight.

eDfGr33n
"There was an old woman who swallowed a fly. I do not know why she swallowed that fly, perhaps she'll die."
 

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sc, I am sorry you are feeling so sad and upset right now. Sadness is a very isolating feeling. Please know that you are not alone, there are people here who care.

gem.
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Big warm hug to my friend.

However, I'd like to disagree with one thing. I don't think the sadness is making the dp escalate. I'd guess its anger that is doing that....anger at having to be sad and feeling helpless to get a response from this other person.

Sadness is horrible. But....it won't cause the dp to increase. Anger does though.

Love you,
J
 

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sc, I hope you are feeling a little better today. I know it feels horrible to feel sad and have dp. It is tough enough with this illness without having added on pain. I recently posted that my father was dying of cancer and was given about a month to live which was about one month ago. I have been away from my family for a very long time, they did not understand this illness and now the family is hurting but I have been shunned from all of it. I am filled with many emotions in the last while and I too like you feel like my heart has been literally crushed. I have not posted my story yet, but I will when I am able to bring it out, it is just very painful for me still. I will try and explain, I have lost alot of people in the last few years and the pain was unbearable, I ended up in hospital and was told I was suffering from dp/dr along with another physical illness which had made me very ill. I lost memory, my whole being felt like it had gone through a ringer. I have fought hard to get to where I am now. I still have a long way to go but I have hope in my heart that some day I will be well again. I will not be who I once was and Ihave to accept that but maybe I can be a better me. I will try hard. When learning of my father having cancer and having not long to live my depersonalization and drealization got alot worse. It actually is awful right now. I went to my doctor and he said to me that the sadness and upcoming loss was responsible for the dp getting worse. I admitted to him that I was very sad, he said to me when the pain eases a bit and I am able to cope better with this the dp will ease up a bit. So for me sadness did make my conditon escalate. I do hope you keep reaching out and not stay away, everyone here cares.

gem.
 

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SC, sorry to hear you are down in the dumps these days. I wonder if you have someone that is there for you in person... someone you can talk to about all this shit? Here's wishing you a brighter tomorrow.
 
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