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Hey,

I'm new to this forum, so I hope this is the right place to have this discussion.
I have been suffering from depersonalisation/derealisation for about three years now and I noticed that the feelings of disconnection and detachment stand in sharp contrast to my experiences of limerence which I have been having for the last couple of years as well. (For those who don't know, limerence is a kind of love obsession which actually has not much to do with love, but it involves a lot of fantasising, over-analysing and self-deluding.) I've constantly been having feelings of obsession for people that are unavailable, such as gay men or straight girls, people in a relationship, or professors/supervisors.

For the longest time, I have been seeing these two conditions - DP and limerence - as contradictory. My complaint about a general detachment from the world, the people around me, and myself did not seem to fit well with the fiery passion I had for my love objects (LOs). I always thought I didn't know how to feel 'properly', I seemed either to be inappropriately cold and emotionless, or completely overreacting. There was no in-between. I think that the limerence also added to my increased loss of the idea what it meant to be a self, because everything I knew about me did not seem to make sense. It just wouldn't add up.

Now I have a different perspective on things. I realised that you cannot fit people into stereotypes - the rational scientist vs. the oversensitive artist, if you will - and that actually both DP and limerence might stem from my trauma and my longing to escape reality. In limerence, I basically live in a dream world with me and my LO. Being obsessive over someone sometimes feels like taking drugs, because it distracts you from dealing with your own emotions. And in DP, I feel as though the world around me is unreal, so I do not have to experience the pain, shame, and anger I have been suppressing for years.

I just wanted to share this story to find out if there are more people like me who are experiencing these two phenomena simultaneously, and if so, how you interpret them. I am trying to figure out what is going on with myself and I'm curious to see how others are going about with these issues. If you have any tips on dealing with limerence in combination with DP, please do let me know.
 

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Yes.. I have had multiple girls that were friends block me out of their life because I got too obsessed with them. This actually started once I got DP, come to think about it. Although it’s kind of more like a desperation for them not to abandon me thing. I relate it to an inability to manage emotion properly, but it could very well be co-affected by DP itself.. I figured I might have BPD (borderline personality disorder) because the traits seem to match up, or it could just be partial. It really seems like my DP manifests in such a way that it very negatively affects who I am, and I’m sure we all have DP for different reasons. Therefore, one of the probable reasons some have DP could very well be the result of other methods of escapism that we got caught in the habit of doing. There really needs to be a DP psychologist, someone to look into all of it more, because I know that there’s more there.
 

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From what you said now, am really beginning to make some connections.

I just noticed this pattern of obsession has been for a while now.

My theory for this is that due to a lack of feelings, we become fascinated and enticed with that one object that is able to trigger any sort of feeling within us.
 
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