[Kelson12]

Right now I am having a really hard time dealing with growing up with DP. I am 25 years old. Around me I see individuals who are starting to get married, meeting new people, in essence just growing up. And honestly it scares me to death. I CANNOT picture myself being married and having kids with this DP. I feel like I can barely handle myself. Like yesterday I got home from work and took a 2 hour nap as an escape from my DP and honestly I coulda sleep all night until the morning. How am I supposed have a wife and kids and be the "man of the house" when I can barely be awake to live my own life? I know I'm not supposed to be thinking about the future, but I am almost 26 and it's hard not too. Specially when it feels like I am never gonna be happy and excited about life and growing up. How do you guys not think about the future and/or not discouraged?

Take care,

Kelson

 

[Guest]

I know what you mean mate. If I find any answers you'll be the first to know.

I'm sh*t scared of getting older at the moment.

 

[Depersonalized]

Who says that you must get married and have kids. This planet is overpopulated anyway, so just try to live your life the way you want it to be. If getting married and having kids scares you to death, don't think about it.

 

[Guest]

I could say...

Do what you feel inside, if it's not YOU to have kids and wife and family, then don't force yourlsef. It can be bad for you. Do what you would like to do, not what others would like you to be.

It's sure it's not the time to think about family and kids when you're not stabilised about dp... don't think about it you put yourself stress and it never gonna help. Also, you are young (yes!) and have PLENTY of time to think about that. Later.

Think of you and trust your feelings.

Take care,

Allure30

 

[ShaneSutherly]

Getting married and having kids will help you take your mind off of the dp. It will give you a challenge that will require your full attention, and this may help you get better. The key is to find someone that will fully understand what your going through, and will stick by you through the tough times. I know there are some people on here that are married and have kids, and I'm sure they could offer you some advice.

 

[Guest]

I hear what your saying bro. Im 25 as well and make myself so much worse worrying about not being able to function like a 'normal' human being in thr future as i see all my contempories moving on.

The way i try and counter this feeling is just go day to day. Its a cliche but i find it helps sometimes. By doing this i have manged to actually moved in with my girlfriend and seeing how things goes. But i have made it quite clear to her that kids are out of the question for the foreseeable future as i can just about look after myself.....and she does not even know about the crazy shit going on in my head!

 

[agentcooper]

yup, i'm a 27 yr old, unmarried GIRL...gasp. :shock: plus i live in salt lake, utah. most girls here get married when they're 18 'round here. if i never get married i think i'll be o.k. with that lifestyle. i mean, it would be really nice to go down that life path, but i can't really be bothered to stress about it.

 

[Monkeydust]

I know exactly what you're getting at Kelson. I'm only 18, but already I feel "stuck behind" while everyone else moves on, and I find myself comparing myself against others to realize that I'm nowhere near as "far in life" as they are.

At the end of the day, though, it's not worth doing.

If you feel overwhelmed by future prospects, that's to be expected. Anyone in a state of bad depression, and especially someone with heavy DP, is going to think like that.

It's those thought patterns kicking off saying "I can't do this, I can't do that". Anything seems impossible, plans for the future especially. I know; I feel the same.

But when all is said and done, feeling worried and overwhelmed about the future is part of our symptoms. A "sick" mind is going to feel unable to deal with the complexities of adult life.

As you recover, however, you'll realize that these thoughts and feelings really are largely a component of the illness. I'm sure you've probably had days when you've been unable to much more than get out of bed, I know I have. On these days it feels like I'll never be able to do any more than that - even going out with my friends seems an impossible challenge. When you feel better, it's not so bad. On a larger and longer-term scale, these thoughts are the same. They'll dissipate gradually with the other symptoms.

Believe me, one day you will be able to manage to accomplish all these things. It might take a long time, and you might do it all later on than you'd originally planned, but you'll get there.

Until that time, realize that these feelings and thoughts are part of the illness. And work at overcoming that first.

All the best,
Monkeydust.

 

[Guest]

If i dont recover from my dp/dr im not going to have kids because i dont want to be anything less than a good father. I dont think i could be that father in the state of mind that i am currently in. This is a reoccuring thought going through my head because i would love to have a family.

 

[shadowness]

this is a major thing for me at the moment...eveyone else around me has their lives sorted and even if they do not then they just roll with it...

i feel so behind...i feel actually quite pathetic...i just feel like i have no idea what i am doing and even when i do, it feels pointless...

i am 20 now and i feel so scared to just be someone...be a person in this big ol' world...make a contribution...everything just feels like i am doing it to just do something instead of wanting to do things...

dp and dr really limits me...i am doing all i can and if i feel up to it break the comfort barrier....but at the moment i am very scared of the future...life just feels pointless right now and i hate it...

 

[livinginhell333]

shadowness i feel the same exact way you do. i am 20 years old and everything just seems pointless, espiacially my life, before this happended i was living the life, careless, things were good, now i am stuck and don't know if i am going to get out. i'm thinking if i don't get better i really am gonna start drinking to help me feel better. i don't know what would help me feel better. if i don't get better by next year i'm smoking again.

 

[CECIL]

All of this is the same way I feel.

Really depressing thought loop number 54671243:
"I'm worthless, unnatractive, can't enjoy myself, can't hold a conversation, can't function like a normal person, so what would anyone see in me? Therefore there's no concievable chance of finding someone who would care about me/like me enough to tolerate being in a relationship. Therefore I am worthless..."

And thinking about being a father sometime in the future scares the crap out of me too. I just feel like it'd be irresponsible to have kids when its pretty obvious they are going to end up as screwed up as I am (or more).

 

[optimusrhyme]

If your meant to have kids and a family it will happen. Don't think about it it will come to you if its your destiny.