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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel that DP is a response to my inability to create a specific emotional environment. I think this is some weird issue of control for me. I need to control my life but not only in the "normal" sense of needing control. I need to control it down to the specific feeling that it gives me at any moment. When I don't get this specific feeling, I alter my reality through fantasy or distractions. The trouble is that these distractions and fantasies never last, the feelings fade and I'm left with a problem. I can either acknowledge the pain and the extent of my problems, which usually leads to anxiety and depression, or I can "escape" via DP. This is why I choose DP, because I don't want to feel the extent of my pain, isolation, and confusion. Its not a conscience choice at every second, but I do know that I aid its progression and somehow sustain it because I am very afraid of the alternative.

This reliance on fantasy, and imagining impossible ideal situations when in reality they have very little chance of coming true, has been bothering me lately. I realize that I should stop, reorient myself, and do what I can to simply improve without a neurotic and obsessive need to have all the details of such fantasies be true. However, it seems as if this way of living has become so ingrained and habitual that I don't know how to change. Does anyone even remotely relate to this?
 

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I don't want to feel the extent of my pain, isolation, and confusion

You will feel much better when you begin to feel it!

Why not at least try it? With a professional therapist (psychoanalytic, not CBT)?

What have you got to lose?

But I can tell you that you will feel better; it's virtually guaranteed. We are not wired to bury pain. Doing so makes us sick.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I've been in CBT twice, it has helped some but still not left me in a place where I feel I am completely stable. I've noticed that you've been advocating psychoanalytic therapy, I've heard that it is an extremely long term therapy and its efficacy is not exactly proven. What are the advantages of psychoanalytic therapy over CBT? How does it work, and why do you think it will help?
 

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I've been in CBT twice, it has helped some but still not left me in a place where I feel I am completely stable.
Because it doesn't deal with what's causing the problem. It changes your behavior and can make you believe that you think certain things, but your feelings trump the thoughts. That's my opinion.

I've noticed that you've been advocating psychoanalytic therapy, I've heard that it is an extremely long term therapy and its efficacy is not exactly proven. What are the advantages of psychoanalytic therapy over CBT? How does it work, and why do you think it will help?
It doesn't have to be terribly long. It can be face-to-face therapy (it doesn't have to be on a couch).

The advantages are that it helps you understand yourself and your feelings by means of your conversation with the therapist, who is trained in helping you see how your unconscious feelings and thoughts are expressed in your conscious life -- in your speech. It helps you make connections when this happens, and you can -- in a safe place -- perhaps experience some facet of your experience that you have buried because you are afraid to experience the feeling directly. In most cases, scattered, the good news is that the repressed pain is NOT as bad as our fear of it would indicate that it is. In other words, there isn't a scary bogeyman in our unconscious or a terrible deep dark secret. But there IS the authentic feelings that we may well have buried -- feelings that indirectly are wreaking havoc on our lives TODAY. Stuff that we are healed of almost "magically" -- by virtue of becoming aware of it.

When we become aware of an unconscious memory or feeling or thought that we can connect NOW to something we are doing or thinking or feelings, we then have the power to CHANGE it. But until it becomes conscious, we can do nothing but be RULED by our unconscious contents.

There's been some estimates made about how much of our lives is actually ruled by the unconscious. The amount would probably freak you out, but it's over 85%. If there's crap in our unconscious, that means a HUGE part of our lives may well be ruled by CRAP. Crap that we might THROW OUT THIS INSTANT if we could. But if we don't know it is THERE -- we don't know it EXISTS -- we cannot throw it out and it will continue to RULE us. We are victims of our unconscious when the contents of the unconscious are CRAP, LIES, IRRATIONAL FEARS FROM OUR INFANCY, and so on.

When unconscious CRAP sees the light of day, we can SLAY it. We can keep the good stuff and KILL the CRAP.

As long as the CRAP is hidden, we are its victims!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does this give you a little bit of an idea?

How it works is a huge question; some good introductory information is on this site: http://www.guidetopsychology.com/txtypes.htm. It's quite a large site, and it's very good. You can trust the person who created it.

I think it will help you because you acknowledge that there are feelings you have that are too difficult for you to deal with directly by yourself.
 
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