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I'm really sorry that all of you have to struggle with this sh*t. Everyday is like hell. Feeling trapped in your head? MAN! For someone who never expierienced this, this sounds f*cking peculiar. All of you guys are very emotional, indluding me. Face the facts. We are all very deep inside, everything has huge impact on us. But the words you have to keep in mind are Don't throw your life away Going Inside. The thing is IT's all in our heads Its not real, even when it's seems like it, even if you believe, that you are insane, change the pattern of thinking. Don't lose only thing that is so precious, I mean your mind. We all are, what we think of ourselfs. Really! Recently, I started listening to my thoughts. What was i thinking about?: I'm so miresable. Im f*cking useless. I will never have my life back. I lost my girlfriend, and i cant stand the way, she is thinking of me right now. I have shitty job. I look like sh*t and so on and so on. And when I started realizing, that that my only thoughts, were negative thoughts, i really wasnt that suprised that I had so shitty life. You want to change your life? Really, start changing your thoughts. Take a piece of paper and write. Write everything that comes to your mind. Write Im so miresable, Im so miresable ... write whatever you want, whatever you feel. Than go back to this entries later on, 5 minutes later, 1 week, 1 month and see, if something changed. You were right? Try seeing through different perspective. You can solve many of your problems, from your childhood and from present life, just by wrting, and coming back to it later.

Here is part from intervew with John Frusciante (former guitarist of Red Hot Chili Peppers) which helped me alot:

It's been really good for me. I think it's being able to see the mind from an exterior position. It's another one of the issues that come up especially with people who have mental imbalances: that you're trapped in your mind; there's no escape. It's like being imprisoned. You're inside yourself, you're inside your body, your thoughts are inside your mind- you can't escape. Your thoughts aren't just moving along in some kind of cosmic orbit, they're determined by your surroundings and your conditioning. The realisation of the inability to escape from it, not being able to step out of your mind- the more you think about it, the more overwhelming it can become- especially when you're not happy with the thoughts that are in your mind, you're not happy with your surroundings, and you're not happy with the way people have treated you.

The thought that you can't escape from within yourself is really terrifying. To be able to examine your thoughts when you write them down is really illuminating because you can read them back to yourself 5 minutes later, and have a completely different reaction to it than you had when you were thinking the thought. It becomes much easier at that moment to look at what you've written and say: 'well that's true from one angle but I can also see it from this position.' Your emotions are directly tied to your thoughts and you had no ability to be able separate them. Then you read it a couple of days later and you're in a different mood, and by looking at it from this exterior position you're able to mentally put it in it's place in a clearer way. By the brain taking in those same thoughts but in a completely different emotional context, you're able to establish some sort of separation between your thoughts and your emotions; which if you don't ever write anything down and don't ever look at yourself from the outside, you're incapable of doing.

I've resolved so many issues of my childhood from writing- page after page, when I was all revved up about them. By writing about them and reading them back to myself, somehow in that process I accomplished a lot of the same things that could potentially be accomplished by going to a therapist every week for years. I found it within myself to forgive people that I'd always resented, I'd always felt like a victim because of, and through writing them down I was able to see the balance of it all, and to not blame that person for their own actions but to realise that the way they treat people is the result of the way people treated them. There's no more point in being resentful of another person for something they've done then there is of being resentful of life itself- which to me doesn't really make any sense. The brain that's making that statement 'I resent life itself' is only here by virtue of that brain, so who's the 'I' talking? The 'I' talking is nature itself. If you're attaching importance to the opinion that life is f****d, you're automatically giving credence to life because life is the thing that's talking and saying what you think. Something's built into our characters, we all think a lot of what we ourselves think! Each person thinks their opinions are very true and valid. It's a built-in thing of our character. But I think to do that with your thoughts is really important [to write them down]. It's really bad to get lost inside yourself.

It's a short entry, It's just i dont feel like posting much more at this moment, but I will post more of them whit my perspective on dp but feel free to PM me if you have questions, and need some help.

I wish you all luck and a good, healthy and creative life :)
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