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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
:roll: Lots of people talk about obsessing about their condition and anxiety but I dont experience these. Its not because Ive accepted my state or becuase I only experience it sometimes or mildly but its just an extension of not feeling. Anxiety and a mental crisis preceeded the total nothingness, although I had the foggyness and blunted perception. I think I wished not to feel one night. Im certain that this is a benefit but Im concerned should I begin to 'recover' I will experience this anxiety/depression/total confusion. Anyone else not feel at all?
I had to cut short a chat in the chatroom with reticent earlier today along the same lines because I had to go out, so hopefully others can identify.
 

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berlin.....

i know i suffer from anxiety and depression, but i no longer have the physical symptoms from it......ie tension headaches pain in chest etc, i am litterally numb apart from a weird head.....but although i dont feel these things i presume i still have anxiety otherwise iwouldnt think id still have agrophobia,unreality,loss of self etc.....
 

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Same here. I have been anxious and depressed and obsessed forever and then my brain had enough and now I'm just an empty vase. I too had a mental crisis (and major crush and jet lag) just before this happened. In the beginning of this I felt fear and horror so I hope this means I'm getting better (or then I'm just losing it). However, I don't think I'll be as messed up as I used to be if I regain my identity some day, I just need my feelings back..

edit: this is my first message and of course I wasn't perfectly satisfied with it
 
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Ok I think I have just realised something. We are so self obsessed, looking for the path to wellness & well we are all different. But one sure thing is that we are not going to get well by looking for the symptoms of being well, it will all just happen. We want to control everything that is our problem. We want to even control our little stepping stone path to wellness. We just need to sit back & take whatever it throws at us & develop a strong sense of self knowing that we will feel normal one day, it will just happen.
 

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and that must be just my luck. I know for a fact that there are periods in which everything (oh well, almost everything) goes well. And I feel happy. SOmetimes it lasts for a minute, sometimes a day, sometimes a few days. It comes unexpectedly, I can't initiate it. The energy I get out of those moments give me feels huge. It can be overwhealming. And I can go on with it until the moment I find myself with others, talking about the big issues in life, existentialism, the big picture. All goes well, until that "click" is there, when I tell myself: "See, you're doing it again".

Must ... stop ... thinking. There is no other way. But then my problem is: I should feel lived by other people to stop thinking. As long I don't have to think for myself, all goes well. But the the control freak inside of me resents the idea of not living my life fully aware of what's happening and not giving it the exact direction I want. So I start thinking everything over. and then... I'm doing it again.

But to return to the beginning: there are energising moments of happiness, there are.
 
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Charger, I guess thats all really one hell of a truth.

Like we all want to even control our hapiness. We are not accepting anything, not even happiness because it all has to go our way, and that this Is one part of the problem because it prevents hapiness cause hapiness is freedom and not needing to control. So trying to be happy is unhappiness by definition.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for all the responses. I function well enough in life but I just cant accept the condition. I do spend time comparing my awareness before and hope its not lost.
 
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I have long periods of this fuzzy wistful nothingness and I see it as the perfect defense. This is the product of our mind doing the best it can. It sucks that our minds couldn't fix the problem, but just treat the symptoms. Pretty much like all the meds we've taken.
 
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