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Does Your DP trigger Your thoughts or Your Thoughts Trigger DP?

1006 Views 7 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  coolwhip27
well for me at least it’s the thoughts that trigger this nightmare… what is it for you guys?
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My DR is pretty constant so it is hard to tell, and now I have a tiny bit of DP that is stronger if I am lacking sleep, but nothing too bothering so far.
I know I have been thinking a lot since I was a little kid, and my DR started around 15 without major changes in my thinking pattern, I feel.
In the past, obsessing over my symptoms did make it worse temporarily, but so as a few other things. So not sure.
But the way I think is 99,9 % as a form of imaginary dialogue (not necessarily with an existing person or a situation that has happened or is supposed to happen) and I know it is absolutely not the case for a lot of people. It happened once that taking distance from this thinking pattern rapidly made my DR disappear completely for a fraction of a second. So for me there was a chance it could be related (but it didn't work ever again).
However, a therapist told me that different people can have very different ways of thinking and that this is not necessarily "abnormal" or pathologic. So it's just something I noticed.

And right now I am investigating things in this direction. I think I have a problem with making decisions for myself and with identifying my desires, as if I was kind of empty of identity in some way (but also not really). I am often in people pleasing mode, and I am also prone to addictions. For a while I have been suspecting that I have an unhealthy way of using "willpower". Like my "superego", as Freud would say, is impersonated by someone imaginary who is judging me, instead of representing my own needs and my own values. (Like I procrastinate a lot because I don't "want" to do the dishes, I rather think I "need to" do the dishes, almost hearing my mother's voice asking me to do them, which is too annoying and uneffective compared to what would be my own willingness). I think this very consistent with my past with my relatively abusive mother. So in a sense, I am not inhabitting myself, from this perspective, which is a very DPDR thing in my opinion. Instead I exist through other people's eyes, even if these people have to be imaginary.
So in my opinion, this causes this kind of thinking pattern, and perhaps this thinking pattern could be one factor causing DPDR or perpetuating it. Together with this "I'm empty" existense mode.
It's very speculative, and I have been disappointing myself with speculative theories for a long time, so I try to not be over-confident with this. But still, it makes me think about what is explained in that video (I'm reposting it
), where they say that obsessional thinking can cause people to get deteched from their feelings, and also that obsessional thinking can be caused by some unresolved problems. They say that such problems can be at least partially solved by writing "fake letters", letters to some people we know and that are not meant to be actually sent. It's just a way to tell your mind you have finally said what needed to be said and you can move on. Well it's well explained in the video, if my memory is correct. These fake letters were also the main thing that helped Harry Harrington to get rid of his DPDR, as he explains it in his expensive videos as well.
Writing fake letters helped me to get unstuck for other things, but not with DPDR so far. But I mean that it is a possible link that I can see between trauma, obsessional thinking, and DPDR, and a potential solution.
At least starting to investigate things this way personally and in therapy is helping me in my life right now. Even if it is not helping with DPDR so far (or ever?) it is definitely something I need.
Sorry if it's a big confused, I tried to be quick...
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my thinking works also with internal imaginary dialogues. and there are 2-3 more thinking styles of my which i cannot explain in words. interesting stuff but again i recovered from dpdr once even while my thinking stayed the same.

edit: btw what are your main symptoms of dr?
Ah, that's interesting! As I said I was flabbergasted when I discovered that a lot of people do not think this way.
But yes, whether or not it can be a solution could depend on people. Even if it was related with DPDR, it could be part of many other things that can cause or perpetuate the disorder.
And my symptoms right now are feeling detached (but not as much as in a dream state, more like everything around me is a bit as if it was part of my own thoughts) or not feeling the atmosphere of the place where I am. And also I enjoy the stuff around me much less. I am less/not touched by beauty (with some weird exceptions, often during DP episodes, who knows...), calmness, I don't feel the place, I almost don't enjoy going outside or discovering new places, and perhaps I have less genuineness or contact with people. And I see things not really 2D but kind of. Maybe kind of 0D. I don't feel the space, as if what I percieved were just like thoughts and not things in space. Overall, I can say part of me feels kind of dead and I do feel like I am missing part of my life, eventhough I don't obsess over this idea either.
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