No, I can't say that. The DP/DR themselves are incredibly disabling for me in and of themselves. And also, if I didn't have the damned symptoms, there wouldn't be something to be horrified about, IMHO.JAG said:
Also, my overall mental health has changed over the years. These days, I posted somwhere else, I feel DP/DR (right now, this moment), and much despair. At this very moment I am not feeling anxiety. I'm feeling, hopelessness at what I have lost in my life.
But example. This summer I had a friend visiting, and we were getting ready (leisurely) to go to an Art Fair. I was excited about it, in a good mood. I had to go out to the car to get a map. When I opened the door to the ouside, I got slapped with heavy/duty DP/DR. I was angry really, not agitated, I said to myself, "Damn this. Walk to the car, walk to the car, walk to the car, get the map, get the map." The whole process seemed like it was taking an hour, and I forced myself (as I have done many times) to at least finish the task at hand.
I got the map and came back up to my apartment. When I was there I felt MANY emotions. Agitation, fear, disappointment, rage. I talked to my friend (who understands I "have problems") .... I "talked myself down". At the end of the whole episode. I was crying. I was crying about how much "not being here" has taken from my life. How going down to get a map in my car, I can be knocked out of the universe.
To me, the perceptual change is horrific, it is debilitating. The fear I have is that it won't go away, that I will be stuck feeling that awful, and the rage is that when the "bad" DP/DR goes away, then I'm stuck with my "everyday" chronic DP/DR and I'm not really living my life. Just existing.
My 2 miserable cents.
Best,
Crabby D