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Hello, just want to see if anyone relates to what I am feeling because I am super scared. My dpdr is 24/7. I feel as if this is not treatable. I feel like I have lost myself and can’t recognize me anymore. Everything feels like a dream. Most of the time it feels like I am just floating or I feel plain dead. I have crazy existential thoughts. I always think I’m going crazy. There are a lot of times I question if I can make it in this life another minute that’s how painful and crazy I feel. I always have panic and anxiety attacks. I will admit I have suicidal thoughts. I wanna live but not like this. The way I used too. Not thinking about life so deeply , just living it. Having a sense of self and being happy would be great. Instead I feel like my life is over. Recovery don’t seem possible whatsoever, especially when I’m convinced I’m not me or I’m not even alive. I’m always scared I’ll loose control of my thoughts and actions. I get the blank mind a lot too. It’s like something has taken me over. When I do something i can remember doing it but for some reason it feels like I didn’t actually do it, like a blur. I constantly obsess about how I feel , bad ocd. Severe depression and crippling anxiety also make it so much worse. I just want to know if recovering is possible from such severe dpdr? Can you feel alive and present again with worry?
 

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The answer is yes. Getting your thoughts on the right track is actually instantaneous, which might be to your surprise. Don’t think of ‘feeling good’ as something which is far away from you now. Relax and don’t worry. There is plenty of us who are going through the same kind of thing you’re going through now.
 

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Ya bro ive had dp for 2 years and nothing feels real. For the first year I would jsut stay in bed curled up in a ball feeling insanly scared and frozen. Like everything is stopped. Life just feels like on big long day. When I go to bed and wake up it dosent feel like a new day. I sweat in my sleep all the time and my dreams scare me so much. Im overanalizing everything about myself and then comparring it to someone else or how I think I should be. idk if this has happend to you but people seem like animals now to me. I allways think that we litterally on have on life and its on this tiny planet in an infinitly large universe. Everything is so black and white to me now as well. I get pissed off so easily and cant get any satisfaction. About a year ago I sgtarted to get suicidal thoughts because it feels like theres no other way out. But I know logically that thats not what I want so i wont ever do it. Its like your a stranger trying to figure yourself out. Nothing makes sense. Everything that should be easy is so hard and tiring. Whenever im around people it feels like im in a different dimention. Like im hyperaware and stressed but nothing comes to my mind. Im so tired of this and sad but I cant cry. I cant feel. Its like im super sad but i cant feel it at the same time. And I allways think about how im feeling and then obsess and panic over it.
 

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When I first started with it I literally had maybe a minute of each day where I felt like I wasn't panicking and was too scared to lift my head up from my phone, as I use it as a distraction tool (bad move) over the course of 6 month I maybe spend a hour of my day questioning myself and going through the motions.
 
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