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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Even in the smallest ways, I seem to seek approval. I hate it, but I don't know how to stop it. Can anyone relate?

I already know that I have a "fixing" personality, feel the need for control over things that can't be controlled like outcomes, and if I don't get the outcome that I want, I start to become wound up and then go to the other extreme - getting frustrated and detaching myself from that situation - not just accepting it - really forcing it away. Almost in a "FU then!" way.

I believe this is closely related to my need or approval. Realising it all makes me feel so powerless and awkward, which seems to be a withdrawal symptom from having that lack of control.

I kind of believe that this goes back to when I wasn't getting my needs met and approval from my parents, so my response was to sever all ties and go it alone.

It seems to connect to all situations now, if what I need/want isn't happening, my brain tells me to get out quick before I am hurt too much, but some things really do not need this response, and that's what I need to address.
 

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I feel like sometimes I try to seek approval because I feel like in my life I'm a huge failure. I haven't really been able to keep a job, I mean I was a nany for ahwile but I don't count that. I havent finished highschool, and I'm 22. I feel pathetic. So alot of the time I try to seek approval or I guess acceptance within my friends, and family or other people.
 

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Low self esteem (always seeking approval and constantly looking up at people) has been a major handicap for me most of my life...I always felt like i wasnt good enough or that my opinions didnt matter or basically that i was irrelevant in life..As a result i became a person who finds it hard to trust others, even those close to me...I spent alot of years looking for praise from other people for things i did..It was like i needed constant reassurance that i actually was useful and had talents, that i mattered...Problem was even after i did get praise for things i did i didnt believe it...As a result i was always discontented with things i did and hence lost interest easily...The ultimate result was a human being who felt that nothing short of perfection was good enough and if perfection wasnt achieveable things werent even worth doing or trying in the first place....It has created a lot of confusion in my mind...I mean how can somebody be a perfectionist and yet at the same time be almost afraid or lack motivation to try new things...The crazy thing is im pretty good at most if not all the things i do in life...I just wish i could believe it....In my opinion we are people who find it almost impossible to be satisfied and as a result will never be contented with the things we do or have....
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
In my opinion we are people who find it almost impossible to be satisfied and as a result will never be contented with the things we do or have....
That's why you have to keep yourself entertained, so you don't get bored and idle. I feel generally content when I keep a daily routine going.
 
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