[Chicane]

I use technology a lot, phone and laptop. I am constantly scrolling through websites and such without any awareness of what I'm doing. Like I'll be on ebay but it might as well be craigslist. It doesn't matter. I am just mentally blank as I'm going through everything. It's all a blur, none of it registers, none of it is conscious. I'm rarely if ever actively looking for something, it's just automatic.

Please respond if anyone else has this. It's been going on for years.

 

[Fig22]

I have this too. I try to really focus on one specific thing I’m looking at in order to feel some emotion, but it’s hard.

 

[BlueTank]

You're living in your head. It will all tie to anxiety.

Or if your mind is actually blank I don't really know about that. You read about that on here but its interesting because it is said that your brain doesn't really stop thinking. If you stop doing anything your brain will start idling on shit. So I have to wonder if you are scrolling and spaced out and perhaps you are noticing things (like in meditation) or you are thinking about the past or the future... having conversations in your head with people like I do -_-

 

[Chip1021]

Yep. Got that.

 

[Chicane]

You're living in your head. It will all tie to anxiety.

Or if your mind is actually blank I don't really know about that. You read about that on here but its interesting because it is said that your brain doesn't really stop thinking. If you stop doing anything your brain will start idling on shit. So I have to wonder if you are scrolling and spaced out and perhaps you are noticing things (like in meditation) or you are thinking about the past or the future... having conversations in your head with people like I do

It's hard to explain really. It's as if my brain is rarely plugged into the here and now. Everything feels like a fractured blur. My memory and concentration are terrible. Even though I only started this thread a week or so ago, it may as well have been a year ago, or a decade ago. There's just this ongoing "checking out" that follows me in everything I do. As if my mind and body are living two different lives.

You are right about the "living my head" thing.

Thanks all, for responding.

 

[esroh]

Yeah i relate a lot.

Im very much on the anxiety side of this, im not numb.

But i find that i often "freeze" through mindless scrolling. Like i feel extremely uncomfortable in my body and mind, super restless but then i keep bombarding my brain with random screen stimulation while my body doesnt move. Really horrible. I try to interupt that now and do somethign physical instead at least, like cleaning my room etc.

But i mean generally speaking, not being present is like the core featurte of my DR.

Everything is fragmented, like im zoning out every second etc.

Sometimes morte sometimes less. My goal is to stay at less lol..