[allison84]

Ok so I've been thinking tonight about this subject and its bothering me alot .
I've had dp for over 2 years now and I look back on who i was before it hit me but I can't remember the old me , which I get is part of dp but I'm confused because the dp is mild again or maybe it's gone ?

Maybe it's gone and this is ME now and I will not be who i was before because time changes us we are always changing, i guess?

It's funny i said i cannot remember the old me yet i do understand this ME now isn't the same Old ME but maybe im free from dp and this is me .

Far out this is confusing me it's just been so long now that I'm at a lose of what the hell this even is .

I'm not sure I can have dp for so long and even know for sure if this really is the real me , its as if I'm having an identity crisis.
Any input from long term suffers or those recovered eould be great

 

[Katieaw21]

I've thought about this too. I've only had it properly for 2 months and I was last fully 'normal' 3/4 months ago. That's nothing compared to everyone else but I feel I'll never be that person I was. I don't even remember what I used to be like... all I remember before dp was that I was finally happy. Although I can't blame dp for the loss of happiness. I think I have learnt too much about myself and people and the world (not to be dramatic) to ever be the same. You can never know what changes would've happened to your life externally and internally if dp had not happened in this time, it becomes easy to hate dp for changing you I guess but we'll never what would've happened anyway. It kinda makes it scary knowing we'll potentially emerge as different people. Not wholly different but it's impossible to completely go back to who you were I think? Not necessarily in a negative way though

 

[allison84]

Yes i wrote you have learnt to much about yourself and the world having dp thats what my thinking is . It's like ive seen something so crazy so odd so rare that I'm changed for ever i can't go back cause of this .
I hope I'm wrong all I know is i feel in able to sort this out , stuck and confused my brain thinks different now .

 

[Katieaw21]

Yeah surely it would be impossible to forget all of it? But then I don't really remember things that have happened during dp, or won't because of the lack of emotions attached. So maybe it will seem hazy? But that's external events. If you have existential thoughts and stuff how can you not ever think about that again? I guess we just have to think that the change will be positive otherwise we'll resent dp even more

 

[eddy1886]

Big mistake alot of people make is constantly wishing to get back to WHO they were before DP.....This just adds anxiety and more fuel to the DP fire.....Contrary to alot of the anxiety fueled beliefs none of us have actually lost our core self or have become a different person....I think alot of us fear that we have somehow developed a new self or a new persona as a result of DP...Its simply not true....We are still exactly the same as we were before we just "FEEL" a little different....

In fact as time goes on we can actually take these kinda new ways of observing things and feeling things and use them to our advantage...

After all DP happened because there was bad stuff wrong in our lives....Its up to us to try and improve that bad stuff and learn from it and use it in a positive way...

This may sound ridiculous to all of those currently in the throws of chronic DP hell but long term DP can have positive effects on us....It will for sure teach you alot about your inner self and your limits as regards stress etc....In fact it may even introduce you to your real self over time....I mean havent we all worn masks to cover up our low self esteem and fears for many many years....

Take off the mask and just be yourself....You will find that he or she is actually quite smart, clever, useful and does have a place in this sometimes nasty world...

 

[Mimoza]

I relate , i have been dped for 2 years and after the dp fade up i find myself wondered with an identity crisis, low self esteem , feel like a child in an adult body with no social skills ...its a new chapter of suffering

 

[allison84]

Mimoza
Yes that's how it feels no identity as if dp has damaged me for ever
I can no longer think or feel the same as i use to because I'm forever changed by having dp
I question to much now and life doesn't feel natural now , I've gone to far
I'm completely stuck in my own head ...

 

[Haumea]

If the old self experienced DP, maybe it wasn't that great?

Maybe the new self will be more integrated, calm and resilient?

Honestly, "the old self" was in crisis, disintegrating, unable to cope.

 

[forestx5]

I got dp'd in 1971. I was 17. I'm 63 now. If I was to suddenly recognize my image in the mirror, would it be that of a 17 year old ?

 

[ishouldknowbetter]

You definitely will feel good again. That's what is remarkable about this illness is that you do go back to square one so to speak.

 

[Aridity]

I got dp'd in 1971. I was 17. I'm 63 now. If I was to suddenly recognize my image in the mirror, would it be that of a 17 year old ?

Never got any better?. Not a minor improvement? Are you living a happy life or?

 

[Fenway95]

DPDR is a part of my personality. Even when it goes away. It’s a part of me.

 

[willbarwa]

I don't think you ever go back to being your "old self". And I say this because, whether DP or not, you are always changing as time progresses.

The 25 year old me was very different than my current self -- Dp or no DP.

Forget being that same person and you will suffer less.

My DP began on August of last year and has gotten much better.

I will post something separately in regards to that