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Can anyone relate?

Is it normal, or it is a sign of shizotypic, autism spectrum or any other disorder?

The most easy to explain sympthom: For example there i a pool on the road, i need to pass it from the right or from the left "don't go here, go there" says this ritual. it is not a voice or inner voice - just a negative perception of one or both sides. Of course better to chose the shortest but you won't measure cantimeters if distance is approximately same. but sometimes the sympthom says to go the longer way. or from one of the sides may be something making the longer preferential. not "command", only my choice

one side may feel more "dissocative", other normal, and sometimes one dissociateve and other "negative", or "self-injuring" (usually i chose what is better - dissociation over self-injuring and normal over dissociation). Sometimes sides can be humiliative, fearful(dangerous), identity-altering, etc

the most is when both sides are "bad", but one is "worse" than another. other is not so bad,

all times i violated this, my state at least slightly changed (and if

there is a sign in the street. i should go from the right or from the left. sometimes this hasitation takes , even i have to come back and go from the other side, if i feel it was wrong. the other sometimes is not better either)

and so on

there are for example 4 bars of in the street

- go into this one - if you go here, you are like a...(and some negative perception) all or some of them have meaning, good/neutral and bad, i chose the most acceptible..

Another type of such ritual is withdrawals

Withdrawal prohibits to bite long bread from the right, "better" from the left.

and so on.

withdrawn can be: hands, fingers

finger withdrawal: for example i approach tea and i need to press a button. then i need to chose any, fuck, any normay functioning, finger.!! all or some of them feel weird! i can really use that usually i would never use, and with any trajectory, provided it feels normal, not like others. I am not trying to chose the "best"- but any normal functioning . y are not patalysed, i can use them but i feel

something like distress or soul pain and they press button "wrong"

when someone yells at me or humiliates me, i can feel that i want to use a particular finger, and withdrawal of others . i think they are withdrawn anger

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Sometimes both hands feel different (i am like a crayfish or a crab, both have different purpose in this state ). all aggression, self-aggression is on the right hand, all suffer and pain - on the left

when i am distructed by any social cituation( then choice is much easier made, automatically, supposedlly according to emotional state

.

sorry for my bad english and for terms like 'withdrawing'

i am from russia
 

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I have both OCD and DR and do similar things. It's not the best combo. Are you on Medication? It can make a huge difference.
 
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