[mana_war]

Do you allow yourself to be 'weak'? to break down?​

Do you have/feel an aversion to vulnerability?(feeling , being,or acting in a vulnerable way, ex: crying in front of others, explaining to someone how much they mean to you,being honest in therapy not defensive or suspicious or apathetic)

Yes	11	61.11%
No	7	38.89%

If so, How strong would you rate that aversion of yours on a scale from 1-10?

1	3	16.67%
2	1	5.56%
3	0	0.00%
4	0	0.00%
5	2	11.11%
6	1	5.56%
7	4	22.22%
8	2	11.11%
9	0	0.00%
10	1	5.56%
NA(pick if said no to Question 1)	4	22.22%

Again if yes, Have you ever been in a way proud/happy about that trait(being in-vulnerable?

Yes	8	44.44%
No	4	22.22%
I do not feel an aversion to vulnerability(pick if said no to Question 1)	6	33.33%

 

[mana_war]

Just trying to put things together in my head.

 

[dissoziation]

Sent in my votes. But here's my more in-depth answer.

Yes, I often feel as if I have an aversion to vulnerability. I rarely show my true emotions ever since I've gotten DP/DR, and it's quite hard to deal with. With this condition, I often believe that I have to avoid being vulnerable at all costs, because I feel like that if people are exposed to my vulnerable side, they will use this part of me against me. Plus, I have these feelings as if showing emotions makes you weak. Deep down inside, I know that it's quite the opposite, yet I cannot shake the domineering 'if-you-show-your-emotions-you're-automatically-weak' feeling.

 

[mana_war]

I completely understand...this for me used to be so strong i prob wouldnt even admit it to a poll like this. So in denial even to myself...but I didn't want to be 'weak' even through I was the only one saying that to myself. Truth is I am weak. I am hurt. I am scared and I am inable to make myself feel safe. I wish someone would give me a hug and tell me its okay. I feel alone. I feel strange. The past hurts but the future is even more scary to me. I need friends. I need to be my own friend. I would never write this stuff a while back...but it is true. I am a perfectionist, overcompensatng for my lack of control in my life...and maybe because its a way to validate myself that my 'rational' not emotional self can appreciate and not be ashamed of.
Anyway thanks for sharing

Voters I am noticing a few of you are confused. If it is No for Question 1 pick NA for Question 2!!

 

[mana_war]

Also please vote guys, if you're here just take the minute.

 

[meekah]

when i give in and let ppl "take care of me" its like something is still inside me dying even more.... idk if its pride or anger or wut but it feels wrong and weird

 

[Chip1021]

I never felt an aversion to vulnerability, though I was constantly told while growing up that I should. If I felt like crying, I would cry. If I struggled with a friend moving away or leaving my job, I would tell them how I feel about them, often in a way that made them feel very uncomfortable (I realize that in retrospect). But it was almost a compulsion I had.

Of course, now I don't feel much of anything towards other people or life events, so there's really nothing towards which to be vulnerable anymore.