[Guest]

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[fingertingle]

All of the above. I feel very divided and so do my days. My sense of self doesn't seem to exist from one minute to the next, so I presume its not there. I don't feel like I "myself" have any real strong influence in my daily actions. I don't know if this is exactly what you meant.

 

[lemontea]

I think I know what you're talking about, Wendy...It's like, whenever something changes, like I go from one room to another, it seems that I'm a different person than I was 5 seconds ago...When I keep thinking about it, this doesn't stop...when I don't think about it, it seems that I don't have any personality at all...Is this what you mean?

 

[samantha]

I can relate to that, I am not sure if it is due to serious addiction problems with drink drugs or if I would have been like that anyway. Life has a surreal quality at times.

 

[Guest]

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[lemontea]

I think I also do have it not related going from one environment to another. I do feel its also happening independent from that. You have that too?

Yes, I do...It's much more often when something changes, though.

 

[Guest]

Hola,
I think all of us here at times have felt and still do feel this way. God knows thats why I am here. One quick observation about living in "parts", I used to really be into "time" I always had a watch, I owned atomic clocks...etc...however, after a few years of DP, my reality had changed to the point where time for me is no longer lineiar. I no longer live in a world of it's 1 o' clock...2 o'clock...for me time has changed into "SEGMENTS". I live in a world broken up into..."it's morning", its afternoon", " its nighttime". This is now my reality to the point where the UNTHINKABLE has happened...I no longer wear a watch! for me that is HUGE! For people who knew the "old me", it's almost UNBELIEVEABLE. So to sum it up, your reality what ever it is now may be different to the one you remember. And, you may someday re-obtain your old reality, or its possible you won't. Whatever the case you must learn to function with your new reality and do not give up the fight! Remember life is what you make of it. Best of luck.

Tony

 

[jake]

Tony this reply was very helpful to me, thanks. I also have no watch anymore!! And "segments" as in morn, noon, nite, are my preceptions of "time" as well. I like especially the idea you conveyed, at least to me, that here and now is here and now..this IS the only reality deep down. Somebody else posted something earlier about..the Past is perspective, the future is potential and the preseent is a gift--something like that. I like that.

Also I like knowing I am not going to try to "go back" TO some other time, some other "me" from efore. I have to know I am a "ME" right now. I am going to go forward not back-- and do the best with what I have now. It will help my "future" if I know it is never too late, in the NOW, to loosen up, be more flexible, less afraid...just freakin LIVE.
Thanks again,
---Jake