That you have been jyst destroyed inside. I seriously feel like heres bAD humans or spirits who wanna manipulate you to dead. I just dont feel like this is up to me. And i control all of this. I feel all of these layers is destroyed and i cannot crasp to anything. Im so afraid that now i gonna spend my years in this suffering... I have been so long in this that i cannot say whats going to happen next. Nothing better? I dont think so. Always when i thought im seeing light. Its all went deeper madness. Its like i have been made to be blind to the truth and the thing which will set me free.