Do people know you?

ThoughtOnFire said:

Do you feel that people don't know the real you? And that people haven't actually "met" you since onset of DPDR? And also that you haven't met or know people while dissociated?

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The real me is in such retreat within DPDR and that is in a tension with the need to interact outwardly (to get by socially). So I have to present a 'version' of me and I learnt how to appear to others, even though I don't emotionally experience my presence in whatever setting we meet. In that way I do represent my true self, but people only know that representation. It is not dishonest to who I am but I would say they are not knowing the real me. [People often say I seem fine and that they would not have guessed that I have a problem]. I cannot know how they feel about meeting me, I am not even 'there'. I don't retain having met people, they are generally 'shapes' and I struggle to know them. BUT it counts a lot that I know who I care about even though the feeling is negated in DPDR. It is going to be fascinating when I get back to realness but meanwhile meeting people is very contradictory in meaning, both ways.