Do I have feelings? | Anyone else?

I think that when trying to reach a resolution of emotional issues, whether we are crying or calmly observing, you do have to guide yourself towards it, and you can do this with inner dialogue and self-talk. Often when we are stuck we are not actually giving ourselves any direction, just endlessly blaming ourselves. Shame and self-reproach can be the biggest obstacle.

If a friend was in the same predicament and said the things we might typically say to ourselves, we would know to gently correct them over issues like taking way too much responsibility for things that were likely out of their control, or believing themselves to be a terrible person when we know that not to be the case, yet we can be merciless with ourselves. People and events can make us feel so bad we fear awful consequences, but that doesn't mean we are bad or that anything bad is going to happen. So if you use your self-talk in a wholly supportive and constructive way it can direct you towards resolution. It is a long process and takes time and persistence, but changes can and do happen as this style of thinking is established and becomes subconscious and automatic.