[teenwallflower]

hey guys, I made this account so that I could get some help. I have not been diagnosed with Depersonalization, and in fact my therapist said to me that I do not have it, (but please take into account that she also said to me that i could only have an eating disorder if i got completely emaciated (sorry getting off topic) ) anyway, she asked me like 2 questions about it then basically said i did not have it. I know I should have left it and been okay with what she said. but there is no other explanation of how I feel. It started around a year ago after I first smoked marijuana, I started getting out of body experiences and to this day i get from 1-6 a day, I feel like im not connected to the ground and like everything is a dream, so sometimes i act reckless because it 'doesnt matter because this reality isn't real', sometimes I also feel like smashing things, like plates. I feel numb a lot of the time, which makes it hard to relate to people, i feel so distant from all of my friends. and when im in that dream state it makes me feel slightly dizzy and i forget things easily. if someone could reply with their opinion then it would mean the world!! it has been going on for over a year. (if you have any questions please ask them and ill reply best i can!) oh also i'm 16 years old n___n//

 

[teenwallflower]

Interesting that she dismissed it so quickly, but I'm not surprised. Many people are told that it is solely anxiety, and it's left at that.

Given what you've described, it sounds like depersonalization triggered by marijuana. Of course, we would need some more in depth information to get a better idea.

you see the thing is that she did not even ask me about it after that, she never even told me what it was from.
but alright, well whenever i get stressed it really comes out, and with pain i have also found that it happens then. I often dont feel like i'm me, and the things i'm saying aren;t from my own mouth. i have woken up before and the out of body feeling has been so intense that from the half an hour that i woke up and got dressed i blacked out it all, and had a panic attack because i had no idea what had just happened.
i think i will possibly see another therapist because right now i have no idea what's going on and i just need some closure. like it almost feels like i'm high all of the time... i don't know it's just a horrible feeling and makes me nervous thinking about it. thank you for your input it means a lot!! xx

 

[teenwallflower]

What was your last experience like when you smoked marijuana?

unpleasant really, although, i have been using it as an escape almost, as if i 'have a reason' to be feeling like i do. but it just makes me feel dissy, and i quite often have panic attacks though, which are horrible (like whilst high). it feels like the high lasts for days after. if that helps..

 

[teenwallflower]

Yes. Although i did stop for a period of 6 months, but nothing changed.
It varies from either once a week to once a month how much i smoke it now.

 

[teenwallflower]

So you are still smoking it?

Yes. Although i did stop for a period of 6 months.and nothing changed. It varies from once a week to once a month how often i smoke it.

 

[teenwallflower]

It is your life, but if you are in fact suffering from depersonalization disorder, I highly suggest you stay away from any and all recreational drugs. That's just my advice and experience, do with it what you will.

yes i know, and trust me i dont even enjoy it. Its just the group i surround myself with. Thank you for the advice! And just having someone to talk to was comforting!