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From your account there are two things that stand out: that you see yourself as a victim, and your girlfriend as an abuser. The question is: why do you take it for so long (10 years)?

You go into details about her behavior, as if it is necessary to persuade other people that it is really the abuse that you are going through. You don't have to do that. It is not important whether other people will understand to a detail what you are going through. The only thing that matters is how you feel, and if you do feel abused, get the hell out of that relationship.

I dealt with narcissistic and abusive people before, and the only way for me to really deal with it was to go 'no contact'.

It may be difficult to get out of an abusive relationship, because if we find ourselves in it, it often means that we are repeating some sort of abusive situation from our early life. Ask yourself if you had such an experience in your childhood, if anyone was emotionally abusive towards you, and if you had some sort of codependency in your primary family. If you understand where your codependency comes from, you may better resolve your current situation.

Be aware that only you can help yourself. Do what is the best for you.

Take care,

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