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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ok....now i am totally scared sh*tless!

last night i had an awful night....it took me ages to get off to sleep and when i did i had such frightening dreams...

but to be honest i cannot tell if they were dreams...

i 'dreamed' that i kept waking up and something would happen...it is so hard to explain....but it was like i was schizophrenic....or hallucinating a person in my room....

my whole day so far feels like a total dream this time...and everything feels like an hallucination....

it is so frightening and i cannot stop thinking about it (which is obviously not helping either)....

i just wanted to see what people think...what your experiences have been if you have gone through something similar...

i am so scared right now...

i am so scared of halluciating and that i might be hallucinating right now...

any comments will be tremendously appreciated...

thank you :)
 

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This always happens to me. You may have dreamed this, or it may have happened in reality.. but either way you aren't crazy. I always get this weird thing where I'm awake but really still sleeping. I'm sitting up in my bed, and I think i've gone schizo.. or im hallucinating.. or right now.. ive lost my memory... whatever my major fear is at the time.

It feels so real, and its bizarre. Ive had it explained as Sleep Paralysis before.. and it may be that or it may just be delerium from extreme dp and change in sleeping pattern. Sleep is weird, i wouldnt worry about it.
 

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I get this and so do many people on this board and so do many people who don't have dp. Check back through the posts for one called Night Terrors and another one I can't remember what its called. There's probably quite a few.

Sleep disturbance can run in the family aswell. My brothers sleep walk, my parents have those dreams you describe and I have little bit of it all! Had night terrors as a kid, and slept walk at least 100 miles in my time. Dp can make it worse and vice versa, in my case. Last night had extremely vivid dream, same as always - boyf is having an affair etc etc, i know Im dreaming, so 'wake up' - think everything is ok - then it happens all over again and I realise I haven't woken up. Then I actually wake up, fall back asleep, straight back into it and this continues for about 4 hours, until I can actually make myself wake up and stay awake. For the first half hour I am expecting to 'wake up' again, thinking I may possibly be still dreaming, eventually the sensation fades, if you do not dwell on it, and the memory of the dream recedes. I also have the thing where you are dreaming whilst awake - hypnogogic or hypnopompic its called.

Seriously, you are not hallucinating. Sometimes the line between awake and asleep is hazy, you are not doubt awake right now, if you are capable of writing this post, and you are not going to hallucinate. Try your hardest to believe this, and focus on something else, because your fear is feeding this sensation.

Here is an example of extreme 'dreaming whilst awake'. And I was totally fine afterwards.

My doctor prescribed me the sleeping pill Sonata a while ago. It is not a tranq/benzo and supposed to be fairly side effect/hangover free. Had taken it twice before this point and it was ok. I got back from holiday and was all over the place - we had just unpacked and decided to have a glass of wine to relax. Also had a cup of tea. Had also taken my effexor and an ibuprofen earlier. Watched tv in bed and decided I wasnt tired so took a sonata. As I swallowed it I regretted it but dont know why. Apparently 10 minutes later I sat bolt upright and said 'oh my god something's not right-i feel funny'. I tried to stand up but the floor was like the deck of a ship in a storm. Imagine the drunkest you've ever been x 100. I went to the toilet and made myself repeatedly sick, in order to 'remove the poison' from my stomach. As I stood over the sink, I felt as though there were people in the room with me, but I couldn't see them. Like with Lsd, you feel stuff as opposed to seeing it. Though I did hear things next door, and spent a good 10 minutes with my ear to the wall 'listening'. I couldn't walk or hold onto anything or focus. I was too 'out of it' to feel scared to be honest. My boyfriend had to wipe my mouth and carry me back to bed and told me not to worry that it was just a bad reaction. (He's had a few bad trips in his life) He knew it was crucial to play it down and this helped tremendously. I lay in bed and lights from the dvd player formed faces, and I dreamt some crazy things. All with my eyes open. NEVER drink alcohol with Sonata as apparently this causes this kind of reaction. I was fully dreaming whilst aware of it, reality and unreality were mixed up. I do not believe this is any form of schizophrenia or psychosis. It is exactly how I felt as a kid with night terrors.

I awoke in the morning as fresh as a daisy.

At a later date, a discussion with my boyfriend revealed he was scared for me, and admitted he played the whole thing down, as he knows exactly how this whole fear/dp/neurotic thing works. This proves that the only thing that makes it so scary is you fearing it.
 
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Shadowness, you do something that many people do, and it's so bad for you. The thing is this: you've got some mental symptoms, LOTS of them. Most sound like they're based in anxiety and then you have dp experiences on top of it. The WORST symptom you have, however, in terms of your own ability to recover, is your obsessiveness.

When you have a new horrible experience, like the odd dream states, you seem to think it's a NEW symptom...it's not. It's just more of same.

I get the impression that you are watching yourself like a hawk, looking for some new piece of evidence that will indicate psychosis, or worse!

Until you recover, you will keep having all kinds of awful experiences. Some will be physical, your body will feel odd. Others will be cognitive, like the "am I dreaming?" experiences. They are ALL the same basic problem.

ANd every single one of them is made worse by self-monitoring. THe next bad episode you have, of ANY type, try your hardest to say "there I go again...." and NOT pay attention to the specifics of it. Just say to yourself "boy, I feel awful!" and then try to distract yourself as best you can.

Everytime you focus on the symptom states, everytime you say to yourself "now what is THIS? Now I feel like my arms are not my own arms....it feels like it gets stranger the closer I get to my hands..wait, I had a dream like this, too! I felt like my hands were falling apart.."

DON'T do that! That is way too much attention to detail and it FEEDS your ability to produce more symptoms.

Peace,
Janine
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
yeah i know what i am doing and slap my wrists when i post something like this.....

it was just so intense that it just threw me completely...

i know i monitor myself far far FAR too much...

but it is a habbit that i just have to break....

i apologise if i sound like a moany obsessive fool...

but i am :D

i am looking to get more help with my obsessiveness than with the anxiety as it is more of a problem...

thank you everyone for your comments...

i really do appreciate it...:)

i love you all!

yayness to you all!
 

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I get dreams like that, too. Especially when I take naps, days after drinking binges. I dream that I am in my bed, on the couch, wherever I'm sleeping, but I can't move. It's always scary and I usually scare myself awake. That I don't drink much, I hardly get them anymore.

However, the worse my DP has become, the more frequent and crazy my dreams have gotten. Certain medications, especially Remeron and klonopin would give me deep, deep sleep with whacked-out dreams.
 

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This is weird.............Lately ive been having a lot of nightmares too....

The other night I dreamt that I was in this childs bedroom. There was a door leading to the hallway in this "house', but ...I couldnt get through it. It was like a magnetic force preventing me from escaping. Then any door leading from this room was an extension of the same room...i couldnt escape.....then i went down this wide staircase, and.............it was a childs nursery....then , through this other door.....and more of the same.........i couldnt escape from this blasted never-ending room. :shock:
I woke up shaking, this is the worst dream Ive ever had in my life
Then as i was waking up, i could feel myself 'paralysed' , but the more concious i became, it ebbed away

Also, after I wake up in the mornings, I can sometimes still 'feel' my dreams, like a sub-concious nightmarish feeling. sometimes it lasts all day :(
 

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2 nights ago i was startled awake from a really REALLY scary dream. it was like invasion of the body snatchers and i was trying to pretend to be one of the body snatchers so i wouldnt get snatched.. but then i turned into the monster from 'the thing' and started sucking peoples faces off.. then i realized i WAS a body snatcher for real.. and i woke up freaking out and when i tried to go back to sleep i went right back into the same dream and had a panic attack. (everything spinning..heart palipitations, choking, gagging, etc) but now that im a panic pro.. i got myself out of it with deep breathing and forcing myself to think pleasant thoughts.

i have nightmares alot. and if they arent nightmares then i have really wierd, trippy vivid dreams. for me the dreams seem more real than the real world. :shock:
 

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just came back from watching 'the grudge'. remind me never to go to any more scary movies. i dont think im ever going to sleep again. i knew i should have gone to team america instead. :shock:

 
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I've had a few episodes of sleep paralysis. One worth mentioning where i had one of the demons from Jacob's Ladder in my room for a good thirty seconds.

Recently my fucked up dream states have evolved into ones where I have these thoughts pop into my head while i'm asleep. Its not a dream. Its like I have a deep existential or nihilistic thought pop into my head during sleep (usually right after dozing off) and it always freaks me out so much i need to wake up. My heart nearly explodes when it happens.

A more accurate picture of what its like is I have this overwhelming feeling associated with an accumulated thought "life is meaningless, at least it is for me because my mind is fucked". This is always enough to freak me out because like BAM! instant freak out.
 
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