[Guest]

Hi,

I went to my friends at 2 hours from here, in one day, and I was with all my friends. We went to see her little 2 months old baby, she was happy, and I was happy to be with my friends. We had a long ride, 5 hours of driving for 1 day. And even if I was happy to talk with my friends, I always had this extreme confusion feeling when I go in and out a place (bathroom, restaurant, inside/outside).... It's really like my mind goes outward when I go out the place, and I feel like I will go crazy or going in a coma, I have trouble to remember that 2 minutes ago I was with my friends. I know I talk often of this but this is killing me.

I really try to let go. Really. But I really am confused after going in and out a place, like a blackout. Why am I so confused? Why my mind goes away, then it returns little by little, and I feel not me when people look at me, and it's very confusiong. It gives me depression. And I can't remember well what I said, places, people, all become a fog, and I get so scared and depressed.

How can I help myself.

Cynthia xxx

Sorry if I talk often of that one, because in one day I always go in and out a place, and I don't know what to do to feel better.

 

[shadowness]

no doubt others here will say that they know the kind of thing you are going through...i do to...

today i looked at a very old photograph of me and i can remember the time that was taken...see what was happening through my eyes at the time...but i cannot believe that i was there or that i once experienced that...

when i go to work....i obviously meet a lot of people and if i am wrking for most of the day then i do a hell of a lot...but as soon as work is over i feel like i had only just arrived...or that somehow i have missed the whole day...

and when i get home i feel like i had never left the house...

time seems to be one of the oddest things at the moment...

right now it is 6:50pm but i swear that it feels like i only woke up not so long ago...

everyday seems to be going faster and faster....as if they never happened and it is very scary...

all day long i do whatever i can to feel normal...to just be me...but everything just simply feels like a distraction....

i hardly ever think about dp or dr now and i am forcusing outward as much as i can...

but i still do not feel like me... and still feel like i am looking through someone elses eyes....at the moment i cannot look in the mirror at all...nor can i look at my reflection in glass or other mirrors....

i suppose Cynthia we have to rely a little more on time...

before my wonderful therapist died he said this to me...

"Living, In Any Way, However You Have To, Is The Only Answer To Every Question."

that is how i live my life now...just do what i can at the time...even if it feels hollow...just be the best you can with the way you are....

i know this post does not really help but hang in there

 

[Guest]

It's so hard...i know...it's like you have to try ya best to be you as much as you can, recollect everything as much as you can and distract....sometimes distraction + focussing outwards doesn't always work as well as it could...All you can do is try your best to stay in reality as much as possible....I hate the confusion etc I sometimes find it exciting that we have this outlook no1 else has but even though its problematic, we gotta allow ourselves time like shadowness said....
Just try and stay as strong as possible and not to let it get you down too much...I know it's easier said than done...
I've recently been having more trouble but all i can do is try (whilst getting help 2) and I know we feel 'stuck' when we should be having fun with our friends, enjoying every moment etc....
I hope things get a bit easier...

take care