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When im experiencing dpdr from my dissociation episodes it feels like I literally go back in time physically and mentally, which sounds really weird lol, but its like im re-living the deja-vi for real, not just having deja-vu.
During my last episode which was in November, the entire time it felt like I got some type of amnesia and went back a few years, then it went away when I got better, all my memories came back and I was present. Now it feels like that again, like my recent memories are extremely distant and it feels like im actually living in my flashbacks/deja-vu. Hopefully im not alone on this, I find this really REALLY weird and scary, because when im out of my episode it fully goes away and ny memories come and go as they please and I can actually think properly again. Also my dpdr is usually triggered by a strong deja-vu moment then it sprials from there for a few weeks, where the deja-vu is constant.
 

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@647shordyx, just to make a distinction between a deja vu and flashback, to make sure we mean the same thing:

For me, deja vu is when some situation feels very familiar, as if I have already lived it, and it is connected to the present moment. Everybody has that from time to time. But with deja vu, I know that I am present in this particular moment, and I am aware that it is deja vu, and it usually lasts just for a moment.

Flashback, on the other hand, is usually the flooding of memories that do not feel like memories, but feel more like I am tossed to that particular moment in my life, re-living a particular situation, followed by corresponding emotions (usually of terror and fear), sometimes over and over again. For me, the source of flashbacks are unprocessed memories that were too difficult for me to process at the time they were created, so they were not properly "filed" in my brain. People with PTDS often experience this, and also with some other dissociative disorders.

Perhaps what you are going through is a topic worth exploring with your therapist.
 

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Yeah sorry I didnt explain it very well lol, but when I have deja-vu Im aware im still present, but it just has this eerie feeling that ive done this before. But for my memories, is when it feels like im back in that momemt completely, these are mostly supressed memories as well.
I was never diagnosed with ptsd but Im pretty sure I do have it or something similar, mostly because I was a minute away from dying once and most of my flashbacks are within that time frame.
 

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Honestly yeah this resonates a lot, probably with a lot of people too. Something that’s been bothering me that I’ve been trying to accept is all of my memories since before my current episode (3 months in or so) feel so close, like it all happened yesterday, the good memories and the trauma’s that got me here in the first place. And I struggle to recall what even happened yesterday. I think cause when we are dissociated it’s hard for us to form new memories. We’re too focused on our own states of mind and how “fucked up we are” to engage with life in the usual ways.
 

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Yeah sorry I didnt explain it very well lol, but when I have deja-vu Im aware im still present, but it just has this eerie feeling that ive done this before. But for my memories, is when it feels like im back in that momemt completely, these are mostly supressed memories as well.
I was never diagnosed with ptsd but Im pretty sure I do have it or something similar, mostly because I was a minute away from dying once and most of my flashbacks are within that time frame.
Sorry for the suppressed traumatic memories that you have, they could indeed cause you flashbacks that you describe. I was detailing about deja vu and flashback, also because you said that deja vu becomes a trigger for DPDR, so I just wanted to make sure I understood.
 
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