[optimist100]

Hi everyone, so here's my story

I'm 20 yo and have dp for almost a year now and on Cipralex for more then 2 monthes and just now I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD. my trauma isn't sexual but everytime me and my boyfriend try anything sexual even just kissing on the mouth I find myself not able to be present enough to enjoy anything and wanting to get out from there, mentally and sometime physicly.

my boyfriend is very patient and understanding and even though I do love him I find myself most of the time unable to feel it and sometimes it's like I almost don't recognize him.

if anyone knows what to do, how could stop it before i hurt him too.

 

[Broken]

Sorry to hear that. As you have been on escitalopram such a long time do you feel it has helped your DP? Perhaps time to consider a change if it isn't helping things. I have recently started Imipramine which seems to be helping slightly but has only been 2 weeks so far and still on a fairly low dose

I also could get a diagnosis of CPTSD after speaking with my therapist. I see no need to change diagnosis though as it wouldn't change my treatment plan in the UK. Unfortunately things aren't specialised enough so I am receiving psychotherapy and fortunately my Dr lets me try any medications that may help

 

[optimist100]

Actually I'm thinking on quitting Cipralex cause as you said it isn't helping, may I ask what kind of treatment plan do you mean? dinamic therapy or something more specific like DBT or trauma therapy?

 

[PerfectFifth]

SSRIs and SNRIs ruined sex for me while I was on them. This happens to a huge percentage of people who take those two classes of medicaiton. Plus, who knows how many people have had their sexual pleasure diminished by these drugs while they weren't paying attention, so to speak, and now don't remember or realize how much better sex can be.

Same here. SSRIs actually completely blocked the pleasure component of orgasms-and sex in general, I suppose-for me, so I was just ejaculating without experiencing the usual dopamine rush associated with orgasms. It was disturbing.

Funny how that works. If SSRIs really fixed my supposedly chemically imbalanced brain, then I suppose having my sexuality impaired is a normal state.

@OP, I can relate somewhat. Back when I was in a relationship, I felt as if my experience is going to waste because I'm not fully present. It was exacerbated by the fact that I hadn't had derealization for a long time yet, so I hadn't got used to it yet, relatively speaking. It was really confusing, frustrating, and unsettling. It also diminished my enjoyment of sex. Part of that was probably that I was too preoccupied with monitoring how derealized I am, and getting frustrated and upset by it, to actually focus on having sex. Today I would probably fare better because my attitude to DR is much more healthy, and I've accepted that it's something I have to live with.

I believe that it's possible to get used to the dissociated state to a degree by not paying attention to it and treating it as normal for you, or at least as harmless. If you focus on how spaced out you feel, you're adding a cognitive element (as in actively and consciously lamenting and worrying about your state) on top of the perceptual detachment, which will further cement that you can't be present and enjoy the moment because you're actively distracting yourself.

That's just my two cents. I don't know how bad it actually is for you.

 

[optimist100]

Same here. SSRIs actually completely blocked the pleasure component of orgasms-and sex in general, I suppose-for me, so I was just ejaculating without experiencing the usual dopamine rush associated with orgasms. It was disturbing.

Funny how that works. If SSRIs really fixed my supposedly chemically imbalanced brain, then I suppose having my sexuality impaired is a normal state.

@OP, I can relate somewhat. Back when I was in a relationship, I felt as if my experience is going to waste because I'm not fully present. It was exacerbated by the fact that I hadn't had derealization for a long time yet, so I hadn't got used to it yet, relatively speaking. It was really confusing, frustrating, and unsettling. It also diminished my enjoyment of sex. Part of that was probably that I was too preoccupied with monitoring how derealized I am, and getting frustrated and upset by it, to actually focus on having sex. Today I would probably fare better because my attitude to DR is much more healthy, and I've accepted that it's something I have to live with.

I believe that it's possible to get used to the dissociated state to a degree by not paying attention to it and treating it as normal for you, or at least as harmless. If you focus on how spaced out you feel, you're adding a cognitive element (as in actively and consciously lamenting and worrying about your state) on top of the perceptual detachment, which will further cement that you can't be present and enjoy the moment because you're actively distracting yourself.

That's just my two cents. I don't know how bad it actually is for you.

You know I haven't thought about it that way. You're right there's an added element to thinking about it and being highly aware about it.