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1,146 Posts
it's over.
no more subway seafood sensation.
see, i walked into a subway location next to a yoga studio and across the street from a natural foods store that was diagonally located from a homeopathic pharmacy...and i walk into this subway and see that the god damned bin where the seafood is supposed to be has been filled with something retarded, like tuna (that's not seafood. i don't care if it is. it's not. ok?) or chicken or maybe even some tasteless vegetable garnish that nobody really likes.
so i ask if they have the seafood sensation sandwich. "no, not anymore."
and I thought that BECAUSE this particular subway was located adjacent to the yoga studio that was across the street from the natural foods store that was diagonally located from a homeopathic pharmacy...well, i figured the lack of seafood sensation filling was simply a regional thing. Like, maybe they decided that the delicious combination of fake seafood and mayonnaise product would disrupt my qi or that there was not a proper combination of the four elements in the completed sandwich and therefore unsafe for yoga-tastic consumption.
But no, alas, I find out that (after already receiving the devastating news of the phasing-out of the lifesaving and popular "Sub Club") this is going to happen NATIONWIDE.
All my chakras fell to the floor when I heard that one. Well, maybe not the red one.
So I can't even go anywhere to escape this pain. This is just like god damned dp. I could be in Oklahoma and without Seafood Sensation. I could be in California, paying taxes for looking at ugly vegan hippies the wrong way, and still without my Seafood Sensation (on a bed of organic rice with a truffle reduction, $40). I could be in Maine, freezing my fuck ing ass off, and not even able to acquire a Seafood Sensation sandwich. I could be in New York, where apparently you can get anything (uh, New Yorkers can't get Head Country barbecue sauce. I rest my case.)... AND I STILL WOULD NOT GET MY GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCK ING SEAFOOD FUCK ING SENSATION!
That's it! No more! It's over! Why should I even bother to ever look in the general direction of a Subway franchise again? And don't tell me it's because with the rampant popularity of Jared's Subway diet it is now impossible to turn the head more than ten degrees without noticing yet another brand new Subway, most likely where a McDonald's has been woefully torn down). I remember when I first went into a Subway restuarant. It was located in the shopping center on the southwest corner of 81st and Lewis Avenue in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where it still remains. WITHOUT THE GOD DAMNED SEAFOOD BIN.
But I went there...well over a decade ago...when the sandwich was entitled the catchier "Seafood and Crab."
You don't know how badly I, a powerless kid with a mother who would rarely let me spend the $3.50 on said sandwich, craved that damn sandwich. And it's the only thing I would ever eat at Subway. Seriously. Why would I get some stupid ass turkey sandwich?
And now, it's gone. I loved you, Subway. Not anymore. You have taken away my only reason for entering your store. I ENTERED YOUR STORE DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU CARRIED PEPSI DRINKS AND NOT COKE! I would NEVER do that for, say, Taco Bell. I ENTERED YOUR STORE WHEN YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE BREAD I WANTED! OR THE CHEESE! I STILL ENTERED YOUR STORE BECAUSE I KNEW, I ALWAYS KNEW, WITH EVERY BREATH OF MY BEING, THAT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE ME A SEAFOOD SENSATION, EVEN IF IT HAD TO BE ON A LOW CARB TORTILLA WRAP OR SANDWICH BUN OR EVEN A POTATO CHIP!
But now, I can't trust you anymore. I don't see this relationship going anywhere now. You have swept the rug from under my feet.
*sigh*
no more subway seafood sensation.
see, i walked into a subway location next to a yoga studio and across the street from a natural foods store that was diagonally located from a homeopathic pharmacy...and i walk into this subway and see that the god damned bin where the seafood is supposed to be has been filled with something retarded, like tuna (that's not seafood. i don't care if it is. it's not. ok?) or chicken or maybe even some tasteless vegetable garnish that nobody really likes.
so i ask if they have the seafood sensation sandwich. "no, not anymore."
and I thought that BECAUSE this particular subway was located adjacent to the yoga studio that was across the street from the natural foods store that was diagonally located from a homeopathic pharmacy...well, i figured the lack of seafood sensation filling was simply a regional thing. Like, maybe they decided that the delicious combination of fake seafood and mayonnaise product would disrupt my qi or that there was not a proper combination of the four elements in the completed sandwich and therefore unsafe for yoga-tastic consumption.
But no, alas, I find out that (after already receiving the devastating news of the phasing-out of the lifesaving and popular "Sub Club") this is going to happen NATIONWIDE.
All my chakras fell to the floor when I heard that one. Well, maybe not the red one.
So I can't even go anywhere to escape this pain. This is just like god damned dp. I could be in Oklahoma and without Seafood Sensation. I could be in California, paying taxes for looking at ugly vegan hippies the wrong way, and still without my Seafood Sensation (on a bed of organic rice with a truffle reduction, $40). I could be in Maine, freezing my fuck ing ass off, and not even able to acquire a Seafood Sensation sandwich. I could be in New York, where apparently you can get anything (uh, New Yorkers can't get Head Country barbecue sauce. I rest my case.)... AND I STILL WOULD NOT GET MY GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCK ING SEAFOOD FUCK ING SENSATION!
That's it! No more! It's over! Why should I even bother to ever look in the general direction of a Subway franchise again? And don't tell me it's because with the rampant popularity of Jared's Subway diet it is now impossible to turn the head more than ten degrees without noticing yet another brand new Subway, most likely where a McDonald's has been woefully torn down). I remember when I first went into a Subway restuarant. It was located in the shopping center on the southwest corner of 81st and Lewis Avenue in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where it still remains. WITHOUT THE GOD DAMNED SEAFOOD BIN.
But I went there...well over a decade ago...when the sandwich was entitled the catchier "Seafood and Crab."
You don't know how badly I, a powerless kid with a mother who would rarely let me spend the $3.50 on said sandwich, craved that damn sandwich. And it's the only thing I would ever eat at Subway. Seriously. Why would I get some stupid ass turkey sandwich?
And now, it's gone. I loved you, Subway. Not anymore. You have taken away my only reason for entering your store. I ENTERED YOUR STORE DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU CARRIED PEPSI DRINKS AND NOT COKE! I would NEVER do that for, say, Taco Bell. I ENTERED YOUR STORE WHEN YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE BREAD I WANTED! OR THE CHEESE! I STILL ENTERED YOUR STORE BECAUSE I KNEW, I ALWAYS KNEW, WITH EVERY BREATH OF MY BEING, THAT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE ME A SEAFOOD SENSATION, EVEN IF IT HAD TO BE ON A LOW CARB TORTILLA WRAP OR SANDWICH BUN OR EVEN A POTATO CHIP!
But now, I can't trust you anymore. I don't see this relationship going anywhere now. You have swept the rug from under my feet.
*sigh*
