[nonamenomad]

Hi all. If you are not in the mood or place to read or hear some negative nancy news I definitely advise you to leave this post! Just wanna be transparent lol.
So I am in my 20’s, have dealt with dp/dr/psychosis for about 7-8 years now. I recently just got diagnosed with schizophrenia and panic disorder. Panic disorder I could have definitely called, just knowing me, and my panic attacks and the time length and severity of them, so that wasn’t any surprise really lol. I don’t know man, i feel like most people can agree schizophrenia is a somewhat heavy diagnosis. Not something anyone wants to hear I imagine. So it’s kinda shaken me a little bit. Which I am a person who believes, the more you learn about something and dissect it, things can change or you might connect new dots so who knows if that will be a lifelong diagnosis or however those work. Although it’s odd to have something “tangible” to assign my psychosis too, it’s still really heavy for me, really odd feeling. Really worrisome not gonna lie. I’m embarrassed almost, to actually have a diagnosis. Embarrassed to let my family know or really anyone I should say. I’m worried that with this word over me, that means I’ll never get better. A huge part of me was hoping my psychosis/dp/dr was just some small little crack we couldn’t find and then one day, one coping mechanism, one medicine, one day it would just be controlled and manageable. Now I’m just worried it’ll get even worse. Worried my life will just continue to be days and days in a row trying to grasp any reality and sense of myself.
Wondering, anyone else out there relate? Or feel the same, have the same situation, have the same diagnosis? Did anything change drastically overtime, knowing you had this diagnosis? I really really hope this is just another bump in the road and I can still push on and find my normal life.
Sorry for the debby downers lol. Thanks for looking,
A

 

[Chip1021]

I didn’t think you were being either a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer (or even a Cecilia Sourpuss) in this post. At least, no more than any other poster on this site.

What interests me most is you mentioned your diagnoses, but didn’t say anything really descriptive of your experience? Perhaps you could explain to us what your issues are and especially why you received a dx of schizophrenia? You seem to have acknowledged your psychosis for a long time, but then have mixed feelings about being diagnosed with schizophrenia. I’m especially curious as to why you find it to be embarrassing. I would say you seem to be taking the diagnosis rather well, all things considered. And as you say, sometimes just attaching a word to an experience can help us find ways to deal with it, perhaps even to recover completely from it. Though at the same time, labels can often backfire and reinforce our self-perceptions. In other words, it is very easy to “become” the thing that we are told that we are.

 

[Trith]

Hi all. If you are not in the mood or place to read or hear some negative nancy news I definitely advise you to leave this post! Just wanna be transparent lol.
So I am in my 20’s, have dealt with dp/dr/psychosis for about 7-8 years now. I recently just got diagnosed with schizophrenia and panic disorder. Panic disorder I could have definitely called, just knowing me, and my panic attacks and the time length and severity of them, so that wasn’t any surprise really lol. I don’t know man, i feel like most people can agree schizophrenia is a somewhat heavy diagnosis. Not something anyone wants to hear I imagine. So it’s kinda shaken me a little bit. Which I am a person who believes, the more you learn about something and dissect it, things can change or you might connect new dots so who knows if that will be a lifelong diagnosis or however those work. Although it’s odd to have something “tangible” to assign my psychosis too, it’s still really heavy for me, really odd feeling. Really worrisome not gonna lie. I’m embarrassed almost, to actually have a diagnosis. Embarrassed to let my family know or really anyone I should say. I’m worried that with this word over me, that means I’ll never get better. A huge part of me was hoping my psychosis/dp/dr was just some small little crack we couldn’t find and then one day, one coping mechanism, one medicine, one day it would just be controlled and manageable. Now I’m just worried it’ll get even worse. Worried my life will just continue to be days and days in a row trying to grasp any reality and sense of myself.
Wondering, anyone else out there relate? Or feel the same, have the same situation, have the same diagnosis? Did anything change drastically overtime, knowing you had this diagnosis? I really really hope this is just another bump in the road and I can still push on and find my normal life.
Sorry for the debby downers lol. Thanks for looking,
A

What I like with a diagnosis is that it can help me to "have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, find the courage to change the things I can, and get the resources to have the wisdom to know the difference". Everybody says we should accept who we are and at the same time say that we should put effort to go where we want to go. Whatever people say, I think these two are sometimes contradicting each other. One could argue that theoretically one could accept where they are and still try stuff to change, but in reality this is not my experience, or at least not with my limited time, energy and resources. It is tireing to always try to adjust and fix yourself, and a diagnosis can help to focus on what is important and on what we can have an impact. I hear people who say that there is a risk of identifying with a diagnosis, but I believe this is a problem that can be helped with therapy and not necessarily by hiding or refusing the diagnosis alltogether. But it probably depends on people.
We are social beings, and when people constantly give you back an impression that you should change this or that, you start to integrate it and whenever there is a problem you start to think "oh yes, the problem probably comes from me so I should try to fix myself to fix the situation". And a diagnosis can help to not have this outlook about everything, because it is tireing. You can sometimes raise an inner middle finger and say that the actual problem is that people don't know, are not informed, and that you are fine as you are. Of course there are two extremes, "it is all my fault", and "nothing is my fault", and probably none of them are good, but I find that a diagnosis helps to navigate between the two and relax a bit. I just got a diagnosis of my own yesterday (for something certainly much milder than schizophrenia) and I find that for this aspect it helps me. I have to remember that diagnoses give information but they can also change. But it helps me nevertheless.

 

[Alek333]

Think of it this way, nothing has really changed.

You still have the symptoms you always have had, but now there is a name to it.

It's actually good because now you can get the proper treatment you need to live a fulfilling life. There's medication, therapies, and mental helath communities that you now have access to that can help manage your disease.

 

[nonamenomad]

I didn’t think you were being either a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer (or even a Cecilia Sourpuss) in this post. At least, no more than any other poster on this site.

What interests me most is you mentioned your diagnoses, but didn’t say anything really descriptive of your experience? Perhaps you could explain to us what your issues are and especially why you received a dx of schizophrenia? You seem to have acknowledged your psychosis for a long time, but then have mixed feelings about being diagnosed with schizophrenia. I’m especially curious as to why you find it to be embarrassing. I would say you seem to be taking the diagnosis rather well, all things considered. And as you say, sometimes just attaching a word to an experience can help us find ways to deal with it, perhaps even to recover completely from it. Though at the same time, labels can often backfire and reinforce our self-perceptions. In other words, it is very easy to “become” the thing that we are told that we are.

I think that’s sort of another reason it worries me. I just never thought I’d have schizophrenia or thought my symptoms were just a struggle with some sort of psychosis alone. I guess I also worried what if my psychiatrist/therapist/doctor had it wrong and is it bad IF it was a misdiagnoses or would I ever know? For me, my symptoms/experiences are really just chronic dp/dr/psychosis. I used to manage honestly pretty well for how fucked I felt in the head and how much it bothered me and created dangers in my head. That’s what I guess had changed with it over the last 2 months is that I couldn’t and can’t manage anymore due to whatever is going on in my head. I can’t hold a job, I’m expected to return to college in August and worried if I even can make it to the front doors, I can’t be around people or certain environments. (Which believe I know, I am not unique in that aspect and others have felt the same I’m sure) It seemed like what caught the doctors I see most is me occasionally seeing shadows or things in my peripheral, but I obviously didn’t think anything to it because it wasn’t negative to me, I thought (still think sorta) that is normal. Thank you for the reply, and I definitely agree with your last sentence
A

 

[nonamenomad]

What I like with a diagnosis is that it can help me to "have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, find the courage to change the things I can, and get the resources to have the wisdom to know the difference". Everybody says we should accept who we are and at the same time say that we should put effort to go where we want to go. Whatever people say, I think these two are sometimes contradicting each other. One could argue that theoretically one could accept where they are and still try stuff to change, but in reality this is not my experience, or at least not with my limited time, energy and resources. It is tireing to always try to adjust and fix yourself, and a diagnosis can help to focus on what is important and on what we can have an impact. I hear people who say that there is a risk of identifying with a diagnosis, but I believe this is a problem that can be helped with therapy and not necessarily by hiding or refusing the diagnosis alltogether. But it probably depends on people.
We are social beings, and when people constantly give you back an impression that you should change this or that, you start to integrate it and whenever there is a problem you start to think "oh yes, the problem probably comes from me so I should try to fix myself to fix the situation". And a diagnosis can help to not have this outlook about everything, because it is tireing. You can sometimes raise an inner middle finger and say that the actual problem is that people don't know, are not informed, and that you are fine as you are. Of course there are two extremes, "it is all my fault", and "nothing is my fault", and probably none of them are good, but I find that a diagnosis helps to navigate between the two and relax a bit. I just got a diagnosis of my own yesterday (for something certainly much milder than schizophrenia) and I find that for this aspect it helps me. I have to remember that diagnoses give information but they can also change. But it helps me nevertheless.

I really liked what you said “whenever there is a problem you start to think "oh yes, the problem probably comes from me so I should try to fix myself to fix the situation". And a diagnosis can help to not have this outlook about everything”
I really appreciate that too. Cause I totally agree with that, and yet I never even thought of it that way. It makes me wonder or feel like maybe most of people are go struggle with dp/dr usually always turn it back into something wrong with ourselves we created or we can only fix it by ourselves by fixing anything broken or not just right within ourselves. Makes you think differently about it that way, thank you
A

 

[nonamenomad]

Think of it this way, nothing has really changed.

You still have the symptoms you always have had, but now there is a name to it.

It's actually good because now you can get the proper treatment you need to live a fulfilling life. There's medication, therapies, and mental helath communities that you now have access to that can help manage your disease.

Thank you for the encouraging words and giving me some hope friend. I really do appreciate it.