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Destroy Everything In Two Weeks

1458 Views 13 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  fingertingle
Things are so horrible. I feel like my mind is free-floating through this freakshow. I quit my job and blew off all my midterms. I can't concentrate on anything or anybody and I can't think. I try to read but it's like I'm trying to translate Chinese. I drank for the first time in 4 months and once I was drunk it was like my voice was coming from another source, all the while a tiny part of me was screaming out to just shut up and be 'myself' - or silent, apathetic and distant. I can't stand being around new people. I can't stand all of the petty bullshit that arouses the interest of people around me. I don't know how I do it all but I know I'll just keep doing it.
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sebastian said:
Could this destruction possibly be a good thing though? I always sometimes wonder if big changes like that aren't necessarily a good things for some people, some time.

Are you in high school or college? And what was this job you were at? Did you like it? And what, in God's name, were you drinking?

Sometimes these things happen and we think we regret them afterwards but they end up being the best thing for us.

College. I really like learning. I just feel more or less mentally retarded now.

I worked at Rite Aid. I don't know where you're from, it's a drugstore. I hated it, but it made me feel a little less guilty that my parents pay for everything as I was able to buy my own food and stuff.

And, the answer to your last question... rum. I made it sound hallucinogenic, but I really just wanted to express somehow how detached drinking makes me feel.
bright23 said:
I'm sure you'll look back at quitting Rite Aid as a great thing to do for yourself. You will not regret it.
Funny story? -- this was my second time working there. :?
But I guess you're right, I'm glad to be gone and hopefully I will stay that way this time.
arczi said:
Daaamn Tingle so sorry to hear that you going throught that silly* again..!!!#!#,i gave You alot of credit for Your stubbornes and will to fight that crap.You'll get throught it again in no time.Any reasons why did it start at this particular time?? lots of stress ? I agree with bright quitting Rite aid was probably a good thing to do..You can do better than that
Keep Your chin up girl its gonna be alright!
Heh. I think you're thinking of someone else, because I definitely have seen no recovery.
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