[DM]

The DP-er will have to realize what he/she is avoiding emotionally and then filling up that void with actions in real life (CBT works) and by that forcing the emotions to emerge and by that surpressing rationality.

For example: if someone is denying constantly the fact that he or/she is lonely, masking (denying) it with behaviour in order to forget that (like going out, superficial relations, one night stands, telling oneself that nobody is needed etc.) and the person keeps doing this for a long period, there will emerge an inner battle within that person: a battle between rationality and emotions. Emotionally that person will be hungry. And when rationality wins self-denial is imminent (emotions are also the person). DP/DR then pops up as a way to surpress the inner feelings totally (to calm down the inner conflict in favour of ratio - it is rationally triggered).

That is why many people around here complain about being a robot. When you deny your feelings and live by the rules of your mind you are actually not the person you are. You are functioning, not living.

The way out of DP/DR is actually self-actualization. Becoming human again by listening to emotions again (challenging them to pop out), acting upon them and starting to live the life you are supposed to.

Call it honesty to yourself, call it destiny. Return to your own path, realize which emotions you are avoiding and how you do it - fill in the void; not only will DP/DR disappear - you will start living your life again. Maybe this is the only positive thing about DP; it is a clear signal that life itself is going off-track.

 

[Guest]

I agree, but....

Sometimes, it's not easy to 1-Remember what you want in life 2-Do what you always wanted in life 3-Surviving a trauma (for those who had it) 4-Accept to live a new life that you sort of created without thinking really (i.e. my family); I am sure you know what I mean.

It's easy to say ; let's accept emotions and change your life and all will be fine! But in the rational side, we cannot sometimes let go, exit our lives, say goodbye to all people and restart a new life... in reality, when you have responsabilities, per example, you have to accept the fact that your life had changed, and you have to grow up, because you can't reverse the destiny. For me, I love my child, but I was immature and that stress put me in DP, but I can't return to my old life, because I AM a mother, and this will never change.... I just want to say that sometimes you have to accept things that cannot change... just accept that... and it's not easy. Especially when you are a stubborn and immature lady like me!

K xxx

 

[DM]

For me, I love my child, but I was immature and that stress put me in DP, but I can't return to my old life, because I AM a mother, and this will never change....

I just want to say that sometimes you have to accept things that cannot change... just accept that... and it's not easy.

Especially when you are a stubborn and immature lady like me!

it all starts with realization :wink: and there are other ways to fill in your emotional needs without neglecting the situation you are in right now or to forget what have happened. Still, you are a human, a person to whom something happened (either self-induced or exterior factors) but it can never be an apology not to live the life you are granted.

And DP is not the beginning of the misery. It is a causal endstop.

Love to see how you have changed your thinking pattern compared to a year ago

 

[Guest]

Thanks,

I still feel like a little girl, and I realize that I live in the past since many many years.... past favorite musics, past friends, past memories about party, etc. Past was my favorite memory. I had strong memories about my college and party years, I had so much fun, free from all, doing all immature things, paryting all the time, changing from a University to another, making other friends, other partys, etc. It was ME.

The NEW me is a mother, responsible, w/o a job, so w/o work colleagues, w/o party i.e. beer, (with meds, not a good idea) and althought I am 30, I still feel like a 16 years old girl who had a child... I don't know if you know what I mean. Family life seem not appealing to me. Family things...boring!!!!!!!!!

I know I have to work on that. It's very hard.

How to accept my new life? Maybe having a split personality! hehe

(Joke)

Allure30

 

[Scattered]

Yes, I'm lonely and hate myself so I fill in the void with material things or electronic distractions. The internet for example . Then I look at my life, at who I am, at the situation I've created for myself and I'm horrified. This is usually followed by DP. Theres a threat, life, and I respond to that threat by withdrawing from it and becoming DPed or becoming anxious. I so desperately want to get out of the hole I've made for myself emotionally but don't feel capable of doing so, Ive missed out on so much of life that I no longer think I'm equipped to have any real friends or relationships. So I agree, all these symptoms are telling me that I've repressed my desires and that is probably causing alot of my symptoms.

Self-actualization? I'm skeptical. I agree that people can change to a certain extent. I can get better, but I don't know if I can completely change who I am. Because I am a person who withdraws and who always has even as a child. This is part of me. How do I get rid of that and realize myself? The only way to be "cured" is to change who I am and from my experience people either don't change or it takes a hell of a lot to stop them in their tracks and take a different path. Its as if this change would have to take place on the physical and chemical level of my brain.In short, I don't feel as if I can do anything.

 

[DM]

In short, I don't feel as if I can do anything.

This is DP. I had the same. Therefore I challange you to try to a) define goals this evening for tomorrow b) go for them (although all your instincts say no) but really haunt them c) do it d) if confronted with these goals or problems you will tackle them immediately - so it is not a problem.

It is a way to gain confidence in your own power - and it crucial in beating rationality holding you down and feeling DP-ed.

 

[berlin]

Hi Des, nice to have a positive encouraging post. 'Escaping' strong emotions really hits the point with me, and if I was to experience fear I know the thought of feeling again would be very scary. But I know I do,(want to feel again) I just don't know how. I suppose I want to control 'feeling'. And what if my response to feeling again is inappropriate?! :roll:
Have you recovered?

 

[person3]

And DP is not the beginning of the misery. It is a causal endstop.

Beautiful beautiful beautifully said. I'm sure a lot of people on here will come to understand this, once they stop fighting it. I'm starting to realize it myself, have started to realize it for a while now. I was at my worst in everything i did and thought before the dp.

 

[Brainsilence02]

I realize that I live in the past since many many years.... past favorite musics, past friends, past memories about party, etc. Past was my favorite memory. I had strong memories about

I am 23, yet I am on the same scale (not parties and such, but I miss the school days). I have found a, relatively, honest solution. I say "hell!, it's gone, but if I keep doing nothing but remembering, I will lose the next one". Sometimes it helps. But when I am "down", it doesn't help. I also try to think that there more important things to do are coming right at me!: job, creation, matureness, knowledge (including self-knowledge). And I also try to think that those were not good days, those were actually bad days, because I didn't have the conciousnes I have now. I didn't understood the things that I do now.

es, I'm lonely and hate myself so I fill in the void with material things or electronic distractions. The internet for example . Then I look at my life, at who I am, at the situation I've created for myself and I'm horrified. This is usually followed by DP. Theres a threat, life, and I respond to that threat by withdrawing from it and becoming DPed or becoming anxious. I so desperately want to get out of the hole I've made for myself emotionally but don't feel capable of doing so, Ive missed out on so much of life that I no longer think I'm equipped to have any real friends or relationships.

I am precisely at the same frequency.

all these symptoms are telling me that I've repressed my desires and that is probably causing alot of my symptoms

I have found some sort of a solution for this, but I am afraid to follow it, because of the side-effects. You see, I still have my cheques of who I want to be (who I want to be = specific responses to specific situations).

The solution is 3 steps:
1. empty your mind, think nothing
2. allow something to come into your attention
3. gother all the side-thoughts you have about it
4. if they are all pleasant, then go for it and do it
5. if they are not all pleasant, dont do it, instead do something else (maybe a variation of it) that has only pleasant associated thoughts

Many are the times that I think that emotions are for the week. And even more are the times that keep thinking (or even try to KEEP thinking) that my emotions do not rise from mature thinking and thus they shouldn't be there.

You see, in my case, the problem occurs because I had the wrong example (from parents) about the expression of feelings. I didn't accepted the way they expressed and so I cannot express (express not only to others, but admit that I have them) alike sentiments because I have "connected" mine with their. My family was Ok, probably a very friendly enviroment. I just think that they had immature way of expressing their sentiments. (low level or sentimental perception because of low level or understanding and correct understanding of sociality and personal relations. The worst thing about this, is that I am right (someone else has confirmed). So I am heading for the solution. I hope in 1-2 years that I will be full aware of things.

All this "crap" I just told (and it was a long "crap") had a reason. It was why I felt bad in my case. I dont about your case, but it might help.

And DP is not the beginning of the misery. It is a causal endstop.

Nice prespective I haven't thought of it beafore you tell this. It makes the situation much more hopeful, doesn't it? )

(no doctor can find this, I found it myself; I am aware of this for 3 years now)