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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear community,
I am so thankful that this chat exists. I feel like we can Connect during these hard Times of dissociation.
My name is Olivia, I am 19 and I suffer from dpdr and ptsd. Was diagnosed one year ago.
The best way to describe my current mood is a movie: The Giver. When I first saw it, I wondered why I always felt like the people who live their lifes without any emotion, colour etc. Idk if anyone of you knows this film, but there was a very impressive scene.. the main character took a sleighride and Felt Snow and joy for the first time. Made me cry instantly cause suddenly I knew what I've been missing.
Since I was 5 y/o, I couldnt feel any atmosphere at all. Places are not beautiful, there is no difference between christmas-feeling and hot summer, I dont even like my friends as deeply as I should. I dont care about my Intuition, just always try to be a good student, daughter etc. I work like a robot.
Over the last year I have been very optimistic that my feelings would recover. But the last days were so hard. I miss my feelings, I only manage to not feel numb when I dream. That is such a waste of energy and it makes me sad. Just wish to have a good life, I wanna fall in love and travel beautiful places. But not like that, since I feel like I only exist
Please, if there is any advice or secret tip you find helpful - I would be glad to have a conversation with you.
Greetings and hugs
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