[jft]

Mister ignorant sponge man here with another question. I see where a few here on this board speak of dr as primary with dp, and some have only dr.

I started with both, but both about equal. I had the dp feelings of deadened emotion, inability to express myself, problems knowing what i beleived in, not feeling intact with the people I was with, aliented from those I loved, wondering whose hands I had, wondering who was in the passenger seat beside me etc. Bt I never had the "flat" look you folks speak of, or macro or micro.

Phil jsut mentioned in another thread that ocd caused his dr and that dr casues his dp. I find that I am never dp'd inless I am dr'rd. My main problem now is dr, and when it gets bad I will get dp'd, sometimes as bad as I used to but rarely does it get that intense. I too was very pure obessional at onset od dp/dr.

The question is, what is this relationship between dp and dr, and can one casue the other and can one
exist separately without the other. Are they the same beast but only different manifestations? I describe dr as light and sound sensitivity, grainy air, foggy vision, room seems not jsut right, spaciness and zombie like feelings, fatigue, foggy mind, hard to concentrate...oh wait...I seem to be getting dp'd as I write this.

Anway, thanks
jft

 

[bat]

hi
for me dr is like acid visuals, not as much moving but colours and plastic/melting if you know what i mean. dp is a total brain fuck, in a way i've gone into a trip (the tripping i used to love where the universe is huge and you're standing on the earth with it; crystal clear vision and a totally spiritual experience) but it's the flip side; it's lost and huge, totally aware of it, total fear and no escape, mind and self blown but crystal clear, all consuming awareness and no escape. believing, unbearable second by unbearable second, that even if i top myself i'm going to stay in this lonely hell for ever.

i have had both together and also apart but my most extreme dr has been accompanied by dp. i hate dr but at least it doesn't destroy me like dp does. this is only my experience; i've never had constant dr

 

[bat]

also dp for me isn't deadened emotion(i wish it was) emotion, including fear and loss of myself are heightened

 

[Mattm4000]

Hi Jft, I have a question for you.....I noticed one of the symptoms you listed as a result of your dp/dr was foggy vision. I'm just curious....Do you mean things look weird or that your vision actually appears to be kinda blurry or cloudy? Ever since I have had my DR my vision appears foggy almost like as if there is smoke in the air sometimes or as if I was looking through a cloud or something, its weird.I was just wondering if that is what you meant?

 

[Martinelv]

During my DR/DP episodes, it was about 95% DR (and panic/anxiety) and 5% DP. For me, DP was 100000000x more horrific than the DR, and that was bad enough. Jesus, was it bad. The most evil experience of my fucking life.

Luckily I never really experienced the classic symptoms of self-alienation that comes with DP...no real numbing of emotion, that sort of stuff. I haven't a clue why, but from the fleeting experience I had of DP, it was more than enough. I sometimes tend to think that DP is the final step on the anxeity ladder - kind of like: Event - Anxiety - Panic - DR - DP. On that scale, I only ever got to DR! Lucky me. Perhaps it's because I'm a subborn bastard. I definately distinguished between DR and DP...they were entirely seperate experiences for me. But saying that, other people don't see the difference at all.

 

[jft]

Mattm4000. Foggy vision is hard to describe. It happens for me when indoors under artificial lighting, but can happen anytime anywhere. It just seems as if their is something in the air, it appears slightly foggy, opaque, cloudy, cataract like, pixel like,grainy, like a veil in front of your eyes. You can certainly see fine, but there is enough of the visual snow in the air to make it all seem somewhat wierd. I always have a foggy mind at the same time, and my head may feel "heavy" or "stuffed".

Example of it is being at a basketball game in a gym full of noise and lights. All those bright lights in there but the air seems "cloudy". The lights remind me of being in a Funhouse at the state fair, bouncing and reflecting. They seem bright and hard on my eyes but yet they do not bring out detail in objects, instead making them fuzzy. Ny visiin seems blurred, as if I need glasses but I know my vision is perfect. I may pick up a program and it is hard to focus on the numbers, and when I do focus on them my head is so fuzzy that the info does not stick on my brain. It is now that I start getting real spacey and zombielike and eventually slide into dp symptoms.

This scenario will happen at malls, stores. libraries, staff meetings, night classes, funeral lucheons..you name it. At night and at dusk it hapens when outside. I can walk down a street under a street light and the illumination that is supposed to be there jsut looks like a london slightly fogged street. Driving at night can be a real bitch becasue of the oncoming lights and trying to read street signs that are fuzzy. Again, my eyes are perfect.

Anyway, hope that answered your question.
jft