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Derealization?

691 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Chip1021
Hello. I have had intense symptoms for 15 years but only recently have heard of DP/DR. I am wondering if I have it. My symptoms are mostly physical though... I don't have anxiety or racing thoughts. I don't feel like I'm out of my body or behind a pane of glass.

What it feels like is that I'm on some really awful, strong drugs. My vision is darker, yet colors are brighter. I'm very sensitive to the sunlight, and my symptoms get worse when I'm outside. Symptoms are the worst in the morning. I can tell within minutes of waking up if I'm going to have an intense day of symptoms, or if I'm going to be 'clear.' Symptoms usually fade as the morning and day go on, and many times, by the afternoon, I am feeling normal or near normal. Evenings I usually feel clear.

When I wake up with symptoms I feel like I've been run over by a truck, like it's the worst hangover of my life. I feel tired in my eyes, really tired, and if I could tolerate the caffeine, I'd hit the coffee immediately (coffee makes my symptoms a nightmare for the next day or two). I usually have some nasal inflammation, and I just feel like a deer in the headlights, again, the best way to describe it is that I'm on drugs. I've also learned that fasting, or eating too little, makes symptoms infinitely worse the next day.

I've long wondered if other people suffer similarly, or if I'm the only one. It doesn't seem like a mental illness or anxiety, as I'm a pretty peaceful person with a very low stress life, and like I said, my symptoms are all physical ones. The only strange symptom is the feeling like I'm on drugs. I have read about Shaun O'Connors DP Manual, and how he says that DP/DR is caused by anxiety... I don't think that to be the case, at least not for me. Some days I feel healthy and normal, other days are a living nightmare of symptoms. It comes and goes, and is on a spectrum of intensity.
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It might be the case that the official disorder called DPDR must be due to anxiety, if only because it is defined that way. And many believe that DPDR must exist with anxiety. It could be that anxiety produces the experience, but it’s also often the case that having this experience results in anxiety.

I don’t believe that anxiety must be present for DPDR to exist. The way you describe your issue sounds like DR without DP. But keep in mind that these concepts are umbrella terms, and you will find people on this site that describe their experience in a variety of different ways.

I’m curious that you consider yourself as “pretty peaceful” with low stress. You’ve had this for 15 years now, so it hasn’t always been this way, nor is it very new either. So I’d be interested in hearing how this developed for you, if you know or can remember that far back. Only if you care to respond to that question, of course.
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