[Da'Burgh]

I've come to a conclusion tonight. I could be this way for the rest of my life. That is until I stop caring. Let me define "caring". It's not even that I care about myself so as that it's that I care too much about others. I'm trying so hard to let people understand the big picture but it's IMPOSSIBLE! Not happening. There is no possible way for anyone to understand what I mean until they break from their little sheltered world inside their head that no matter how much they hurt someone or destroy themselves that they will just keep getting things given to them.
Here's the story.Tonight we got together at a friend's house way out in the boon docks. Of course being the avenger of sobriety I am nowadays, I wasn't anything but sober. So it starts out all fine and dandy like always. Everyone drinks their poison and start acting fools. Like I could have predicted like 1000 bad dreams, my friend starts yelling at his girl; getting to the point of being physical. One of my friends confronts him, and a couple of us follow to make sure nothing happens. He thinks we're gonna jump him and he gets all defensive. "Oh, it's not my fault, blah blah I'm a dickhead.."

Like oxygen is to fire as drunk is to drama.

Please. This shit is so old. Does everyone need to have their drinky drinks taken away or can we act civilized? I don't understand how these idiots can do this day in and day out.

Here's the moral.These people live their lives in a worse manner than most of society, without a real problem of guilt, or shame. They are just fine because they don't let things bother them.My problems is that I sit here and bitch about my absent minded, selfish, loathing friends - who I am at the end of my rope with (but still love, don't get me wrong) and I feel guilty. They destroy themselves and I feel guilty. WHY? Who knows. Maybe I care to much. I need to learn to be ignorant to things and live life by the second. They will NEVER listen to me. I must accept that.

Oh yeah, isn't dissociation so much fun?

 

[LOSTONE]

Please. This sh*t is so old. Does everyone need to have their drinky drinks taken away or can we act civilized? I don't understand how these idiots can do this day in and day out.

Ha! LOLOL! :lol:

When I was younger I used to know a lot of rich kids that would drink all day everyday and then come to me pissing and moaning about life. I would think to myself, you ass, your rich, you have a beautiful girlfriend, you got a bmw for your 16th bday, you have parents that care about you. GROW UP :shock: ! QUIT DRINKING :shock: ! GET A LIFE :shock: !

I gave up on trying to talk sense into people that have no senses a long time ago. You will wast your breath haveing the same conversations over and over again. You will get nowhere fast with friends like this Da'burgh.

It realy does make life hard when you care about others more than thay care about themselfs, don't it?

Da'burgh I think you need to get some new friends.

my friend starts yelling at his girl; getting to the point of being physical.

I hate guys like that. Guys that hit there girlfriends or wives, give all guys a bad name. When I was a kid one of my favored things to do at a party was beating the hell out of guys like this. I think I have more reason to hit a women than anybody, and I would still never do it. It would make me feel like less of a man, no matter how much the girl asked for it.

You need to get this guy out of your life dude. And make sure you tell him why, if you end your friendship.

 

[Da'Burgh]

Yeah, man I'm tired of all this crap. He's an ass all night long an wants to be best buds the next day. He's become such a moron.

 

[LOSTONE]

IGNORANCE!

 

[Da'Burgh]

Thanks for the reply, I must be too boring to get any other input.

 

[LOSTONE]

Input from me, or just in general?

I think that we weren't invited to the party Da!

I don't think you are boring, I liked your comments about caring.
I feel exactly the same way you feel. And like I said it realy does suck to care for ignorant people. You need to cut them loose before they drag you down to their level.

I had this same problem when I was younger, and in many ways I am very happy that I stopped talking to my old friends. They were all trouble.

Personaly I am haveing big problems with my posting. It keeps disapiaring when I submit it. I am afraid to write long post any more.
It takes me forever to write anything because I don't know how to spell anyway.

 

[LOSTONE]

I think that everyone that just read your post ran off to the pub or bar, to get drunk! What a great way to avoid reality you guys.

Don't get me wrong, I drink but I am not a drunk .

 

[Da'Burgh]

Just in general.

 

[rainboteers]

Daburgh,
You are very mature for your age and going through something as rough as dp/r is going to make you even more so. That can be hard, you just have to remember that your friends do not understand at all. Someday some of them probably will, you are just learning some things about life at an early age. :wink:

 

[Sojourner]

Da'Burgh,

I almost wrote before, but decided not to, but now that I read your subsequent posts, I'll write what I was going to write before. That is just that the realization of the necessity of "moving on" and leaving some people behind is one of the most excruciating experiences in life. That it should occur while having other problems makes it all the more distasteful and distressful.

If you do not want to (or feel you're not ready to) detach from "toxic" people all in one fell swoop, try cutting down the sheer amount of time you spend together and perhaps try changing what you say to them.

Gradual is probably best. Sure, you love 'em, but maybe you need to mold a new relationship with them that you feel good about. Maybe you could love them but limit your exposure to the stuff that drives you nuts.

You will find a good balance, probably, over time. I just wanted to say that I know how hard and unpleasant it is to conclude that people we used to feel were our peers are now not like us very much at all. The distance becomes the only thing we can see for a while.

It's a period of readjustment for you. It is very sad when this happens, I know. You don't want to hurt them, but you want to LIMIT the damage they do to you and you don't want to resent them, so you go along when you don't want to.

Establish (just in yourself, without saying anything to anyone) limits, boundaries, new rules on your time, and so forth.

Gradual change will be easier for you and for them.

Rejoice, too, in that you are perhaps even able to suggest to them that there is another way to live.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. Your primarily responsibility is to your own soul.

 

[Da'Burgh]

Very great advice Sojourner, it means a lot.

 

[Sojourner]

I'd like to hear, and I'm sure many others would, too, about how it goes, Da'Burgh.

 

[LOSTONE]

I'd like to know how it goes to Da'burgh.

 

[ShyTiger]

Great reply sojo.