For a long time, I got depressed about my situation, and I was almost suicidal. I could not see any future, and that just makes you think 'I should be dead really'. My condition was aggetated after about the first year, because I suddenly had a really bad flare up in my eczema. Still, even without the eczema it was very depressing. When you can't focus on anything, and you don't feel any use to anybody, it makes you wonder why you are still here.
Do you get out much? I think there has been a significant change in the way I handle life since I started to force myself to go out to the pub at least once a week. Before that, I stayed indoors for almost 8 months solid!
I don't drink, except for water, but I have slowly been able to stop thinking about the DR and start to enjoy being out most of the time. I still experience physical or visual sensations that bring my mind back to the DR again, but it's been getting easier to deal with. It's been slow, it's taken me a year to get from one night a week to two nights a week (sometimes 3!), and I still get my dad to pick me up because I can't bear the thought of being on the bus stop later at night, but it does get easier.
I hope you can find a way out of this like I did.
