Depersonalization symptoms.....and they suck!

I hate this feeling so damn much. I keep trying to explain how I feel but it feels so impossible because I am not in my "conscience" mind. No one really understands me when I tell them, but I feel people on this forum can.

Does anyone else just feel so automatic? I don't know how I am controlling my body but I know how to, I know how to move my body etc but it is not me controlling it (like a robotic feeling) my body feels numb, but when I pinch it I can feel it, I am aware that my body is mine but it's not. but I am just a controller....I sound crazy I know but this feeling is so strange. I feel my insides are numb even thought they're not.

All my memories feel like they have not happened at all and I find it hard actually visualising them and connecting me to them. Was that me? I know that it was but it feels like it wasn't. My memories feel so foreign and almost like they're someone elses.

When I talk I find myself not one bit connected to my mind and it is not me talking, like I don't recognise my voice, I feel I am not looking through my eyes, like I am looking through someone elses.

Everything around me feels strange and foreign and questionable existence to objects.

I feel no one else on the planet exists, like I am the only human on this massive planet and I am so alone (not sure if that is a dp symptom)

I look at my friends and family and they look strange to me.

I feel like the voice in my head is not me, my thoughts are beyond my control.

When does this hell end?!