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Depersonalization symptoms.....and they suck!

1286 Views 6 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Sharon22
I hate this feeling so damn much. I keep trying to explain how I feel but it feels so impossible because I am not in my "conscience" mind. No one really understands me when I tell them, but I feel people on this forum can.

Does anyone else just feel so automatic? I don't know how I am controlling my body but I know how to, I know how to move my body etc but it is not me controlling it (like a robotic feeling) my body feels numb, but when I pinch it I can feel it, I am aware that my body is mine but it's not. but I am just a controller....I sound crazy I know but this feeling is so strange. I feel my insides are numb even thought they're not.

All my memories feel like they have not happened at all and I find it hard actually visualising them and connecting me to them. Was that me? I know that it was but it feels like it wasn't. My memories feel so foreign and almost like they're someone elses.

When I talk I find myself not one bit connected to my mind and it is not me talking, like I don't recognise my voice, I feel I am not looking through my eyes, like I am looking through someone elses.

Everything around me feels strange and foreign and questionable existence to objects.

I feel no one else on the planet exists, like I am the only human on this massive planet and I am so alone (not sure if that is a dp symptom)

I look at my friends and family and they look strange to me.

I feel like the voice in my head is not me, my thoughts are beyond my control.

When does this hell end?!
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Mine started because of constant panic attacks caused by Citalopram. I have had dp since july 2017. I am om Zoloft for he anxiety but make dp worst. Yes mine are the same my memories don't feel like mine like i have memories of someone elses life.
Yes I feel the same, you describe it very good. Im just living like a ghost, the days weeks mounts go by without the feeling of living. I feel like im dead all this period of dp its like I was not there. I dont recognize myself, friends, family, envirement. I catch myself very often that im staring at things without thinking anything just being high. I get pannic attacks all the time, im very sensitive and cant support much ex like sounds, lights, discussions, its like I feel when someone is stressed or nerveuse and take the feeling on myself, get very warm and stressed heart beating really fast, dont breath good, im totally blocked. I have it for so long period that im used of it, but I dont want that I hate it so much. I dont live!! I don't know what im doing here what am I, am I already dead? Thats what I question myself very much sounds crazy I know..
That's how I feel, totally 100 percent blocked and I can't tune into myself or my mind. I don't feel like I am dead, I feel like someone else is in my body....it's so odd. I was terrified of it, but I have had it for so long now I am use to it.
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